beautiful - jill valentine

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(TW: issues with body image)

A/N: remember, you're beautiful the way you are and never let others tell you any different, not even yourself. <33

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You look in the mirror and sigh, you hate everything about yourself. Your stomach, your wide hips, your stretch marks, your messy hair, the bags under your eyes. Everything.

Your reflection disgusts you. 'Why can't I just be beautiful like those other girls?' you think to yourself. Looking in the mirror is hard, but it's like you just can't look away. Like you can't leave until you've managed to point out every single one of your flaws. If that were the case, you feel like you'd be here for eternity, standing in front of this mirror, looking at each stretch mark, each roll, each pimple.

You decide to sit on your bed, it's warm and comfortable. At least you don't have to look at your reflection, here.

As you sit, your brain starts to go to places you hate going to. Negative thoughts always get the best of you. No matter how hard you try, and how much your girlfriend tells you you're perfect the way you are, they just won't leave. It's like a constant battle in your mind. And right now, you're losing.

'You're fat. No one will ever love you if you look like this. You're not worthy of love. Maybe it'd be better if you just disappeared. It's not like anyone would honestly care.'

Your own words stung you like salt on a fresh wound. But you didn't care.

You felt a tear slip down your cheek. You were starting to cry.

'God, you're so pathetic. Why are you crying? You deserve this.' these thoughts went through your mind as you tried to wipe away the tears that wouldn't stop coming.

Suddenly, you heard the bedroom door open behind you. It was your girlfriend, Jill.

"Y/N, you alright?"

"I- uhm.. yeah," you respond.

Your words didn't convince Jill at all and you curse yourself for being such a bad liar.

Jill walks over and sits next to you on the bed. She starts to speak softly to you, "Hey, it's okay if you're not alright. I'm right here."

She starts to hug you tight. She had heard you crying earlier but she didn't want to embarrass you or something. Jill knew how you were with people seeing you cry, so she didn't try to interrupt.

You bury your head in the crook of her neck, starting to cry again.

"I'm sorry.." you mutter, not wanting her to see you cry.

"For what, Y/N? You don't have anything to apologise for."

You start to calm down, your tears slowly stop flowing.

"Now, Y/N, can you tell me what made you so upset? You don't have to. It's only if you feel comfortable." she said softly, giving you one of her best reassuring smiles.

There was no point in making up an excuse because she'd see right through it. So you tell her. Every single insecurity, every flaw, everything.

Her eyes slightly widen, shocked as she hears how bad you think of yourself.

As you finish, she grabs your hand gently and starts to talk to you, "Y/N, you're the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen and I can't believe you would think such awful things about yourself." she pauses for a second and continues, "you know what? I'm going to show you something."

She gets up and takes you along with her to the mirror, the one thing you hate most.

"Now, stand in front of the mirror."

You do as she says. You don't want to but it's as if her words have some sort of effect on you, like you have to listen.

"Y/N, look in the mirror. Your hair is beautiful. Your eyes are beautiful, it feels like if I stare into them too long, I'll be caught in a trance. Your body is beautiful, even with your 'flaws'. To me, it just makes you even hotter."

She didn't have to stop to think for even a second during the whole thing, as if the words just rolled off her tongue.

You turn around, wrapping your arms around the back of her neck and hugging her. Jill hugs back even tighter, wrapping her arms around your waist.

"Thank you, Jill," you mumble into her shoulder.

"For what, Y/N? I did nothing but tell you the truth," she said as she smiled softly at you, not wanting to let go of you for even a second.

In that moment with Jill, you felt a glimmer of hope breaking through the dark clouds of self-doubt that had hung over you. Her words were a soothing balm to your wounded self-esteem, and her unwavering support was like a lifeline in the storm of negative thoughts that had consumed you.

As you stood there in front of the mirror, it was as if you were seeing yourself through Jill's eyes for the first time. Her words had a way of reframing your perspective, making you realize that your flaws were simply part of what made you unique and beautiful in her eyes.

With Jill's embrace, you began to accept her love and validation, allowing it to seep into the cracks of your fragile self-esteem. It was a small but significant step towards healing, a glimmer of self-acceptance that you desperately needed.

Jill continued to hold you close, her warm presence and kind words slowly mending the wounds that self-criticism had inflicted upon you. In her arms, you found comfort and reassurance, and the knowledge that you didn't have to face your inner demons alone.

And as you held onto Jill, you started to believe, even if just a little, that maybe, just maybe, you were deserving of love and acceptance, flaws and all.

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