Heaven wait (Hashirama x Madara)

13. The cosy scent of chamomile (Madara)

Hashirama was an expert in the art of balancing domination and caretaking.

As soon as I slumped down on his mattress, wet of our sweat and tears and blood and cum and love, he softened. He lay down next to me and put his arms around me, kissing the top of my head over and over.

"There we go, pet", he praised. "You've been good. So good. Thank you. Thank you so much. I love you."

I squealed pathetically at his praise and thanks and hid my face. He tried to make me look at him, and laughed when I refused.

In that moment, I did not long for cocaine. And it was the first time I felt that way since I stopped, making me believe that maybe, just maybe. with Hashirama's help, I could do this.

"I shall make us some tea", Hashirama said. "It's late, so chamomile tea might be good."

He lifted me up into his embrace and carried me to the kitchen while I still hid my face, now in his chest. He gently placed me down on a chair and went about making tea. He added some biscuits and cheeses and jams I had taken to having in his fridge on a tray and brought it to the living room alongside the tea.

"What movie do you want to watch with me? Titanic or Planet Earth?"

"Titanic", I said shyly as he came and took my hand and took me to the couch, where he sat me down so I could have my legs over his as we watched the film and had our evening snack, and he continued taking care of me as part of our session.

"Madara?" he asked.

"Mmm?"

"Would you move in with me?"

I stopped chewing the salty cracker with Brie and fig jam. The cosy scent of chamomile filled my lungs, caught me in a lavender haze I loved being stuck in.

I could be stuck in it forever with this man.

And I gladly would.

"I mean..." he continued, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he displayed some of his usual mild insecurity as he scratched his head and looked apologetically around him. "My place is not of the standard you're used to. But I do have two bedrooms with a bathroom each. And we could change it up a bit to be to your taste."

The thought of Hashirama believing his apartment was not to my taste made my heart hurt. I almost started crying. I looked around me, at the apartment that was nowhere in the same league as mine, but with its old polished oak floors, its freshly painted white walls, all the plats, the souvenirs, the bookshelves, the cushions...

"This is home", I said. "Not just this..." I flailed my arms around me. Then, I put my hand to his heart. "But this as well."

"Madara..."

"What do we need two bedrooms for? We only need the one."

"There is..." Hashirama swallowed. "You know you had your secret with the cocaine?" I nodded. "Well, there is something I need to tell you at some point as well. Nothing life-changing for us!" he added quickly, which I was grateful for as it prevented any anxiety from bubbling up. "But it would be good to ease my heart."

"Whenever you're ready", I whispered.

He kissed me, and we made love again, this time slowly, affectionately, until both of us came sighing into the other's mouth, feeding the other's soul.

I got to work with my own fucking life.

First of all, I ended all my modelling contracts, and got the finishing photo shoots I owed the different agencies and companies before I broke it off with them done.