Heaven wait (Hashirama x Madara)

18. No inhibitions (Madara)

I dug my nose into the hot, gingerbread-coloured fur, breathed it in. It intermingled in my soul with the sweet scent of hay.

My big boy Hans the gelding snorted, and I jumped.

"Your snorts scare the living daylights out of me, mate", I said.

His herd buddies, the gelding Pierre and the mare Pierre Corina, snorted in return. 

"For crying out loud..."

Hans was the biggest and the leader of the herd. The other two were smaller, but still large enough to be able to carry me and by height. All of them were the same soft gingerbread colour, just to make them hard to tell apart.

Since I hadn't grown up with money, horse rising wasn't a sport I'd taken with me from childhood. It was, I was ashamed to admit, a rich man's sport I had adapted when I became... Well, a rich man. When I bought the ranch, I had selected the horses from a rescue centre with the ambition to give them the loveliest, most easy-going life they could hope for. Maybe it was selfish of me to even ride them, but I never forced them to do anything, only asked.

And now, I was eternally grateful for them, since my skin was prickling with nerves and they calmed me down.

It would be my first day at my new job as an emergency nurse, and it was so early, the sun was just opening up its glowing, orange maw to a dull, purple world, splashing it with colours. I had practiced at an emergency ward before, but my experience was limited, and I hoped there were nurses who could guide me during my first few weeks.

But that was, of course, not why I was nervous.

"Wish me luck, big boy", I murmured to Hans, then went to give them their morning hay before going to work.

I was on edge all day. I was very aware of myself in the scrubs I was wearing, consisting of baggy light grey trousers and a black, short sleeved shirt. I had removed my usual rings and bracelets, but was allowed to wear my golden lip ring.

"What's wrong, honey?" one of the nurses asked me. "We won't bite."

No, but I know someone else who might...

But there was no tall, brown-haired male doctor to be seen, only Catherine and Han, a man from China with a name so similar to my horse's, it made me laugh a little because I couldn't help but imagine him as a horse.

"Madara."

"Jesus Christ!"

"Umm, I prefer Catherine, but whatever suits you."

I turned to the woman, the other doctor who had interviewed me alongside Hashirama. Or, honestly, the only doctor who had interviewed me; Hashirama had been too busy staring at me. I wouldn't forget his face or the feeling it elicited within me for as long as I lived.

"Sorry", I murmured shame-facedly.

"Relax. You're doing great. Hashirama comes at one, so you can keep your guard down until lunch."

She winked at me and left before I had the chance to protest.

At lunch time, I was a wreck. I had no problem eating though; my appetite had been splendid since I got sober and clean, so the nerves did not prevent me from munching on my cheese and tomato sandwich on rye bread alongside my crisps.

But I noticed my eyes darted this way and that in search for Hashirama. Would he eat lunch here? Or at home, before coming to work?

As I was working myself up to a crescendo of nerves, the alarm went off, meaning an ambulance was on its way with a badly ill patient.