And I Go Back to December

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December settled into New York, accumulating bit by bit, like snow. And Charlie was dozing well into the late morning when his phone rang rather obtrusively by his ear.

He let it ring once. Twice. Three times, before rolling over and picking up the receiver.

"Hello," he said, fighting through a yawn.

"Hi, Nuwanda," Todd replied in a small voice.

"What's going on, Todderson?"

Silence. 

Charlie waited a couple seconds. Todd hadn't hung up, the line was still live, so...what? In fact, he could even hear Todd breathing, drawing in one shaky breath after the other. Just not speaking.

"Hello?" Charlie tried.

"It snowed this morning."

More silence. Charlie's brows fell in confusion. "Right..." he said. "If that's everything, I'm gonna let you go."

"But Neil's hanged himself."

Charlie's heart plummeted. "Todd, what do you mean?"

Todd's voice broke over the phone. "I need you to come over right now."

"What the hell do you mean by that, Todd?"

"Right now, Charlie."

And with a click, the line went dead. And Charlie took off running. 

He was in his pajamas, hadn't bothered to put on shoes. He sprinted down the hall, spare key in hand for the apartment just a floor below his own. The spare key Neil had given him almost a year before.

'In case of an emergency.' That's what he said.

This certainly constitued an emergency. Flashing lights, alarm bells, why was the whole floor not clearing the way? Charlie turned the corner and almost ran into another man.

"Damn it," Charlie said, because what else could he say?

The elevator couldn't come fast enough, so Charlie took the stairs. Bounded; one, two, three steps at a time. Lightning-hot electricity crawled through his legs, burning and searing, but still he ran. 

It took less than a minute but still far too long for him to reach the apartment and shove open the door. 

The sight that greeted him was grotesque. Todd sat on the floor in front of his closed bedroom door. In one hand, he held the phone. The other was over his mouth, covering whatever sort of terrible grimace had made its way there.

And from behind the closed door, Christmas music played almost tauntingly.

"Todd," Charlie said, and ran in, kneeling in front of him. "Where's Neil? Where is he?"

Todd took in one gasping breath at a time. His eyes were panicked, wild. "That...That music's been playing for over an hour. On loop. I just...I just went to take a shower and when I came back..." 

Charlie nodded, stood, and reached slowly for the doorknob. Knowing his best friend could very well be on the other side, waiting with a lifeless gaze.

Todd knocked his hand away. "Stop."

"Shit," Charlie said. "Yeah, alright. We should...we'll leave that to the ambulance. We don't want to see that."

And despair pooled in Charlie's stomach as Todd's look changed to a deer in headlights.

"Todd," Charlie said, slowly, blinking away tears that threatened the corners of his eyes. "You didn't call an ambulance?"

Silence. Again. 

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