An Intangible Pattern

First things first

Noah sank down in an armchair and rested his elbows on his thighs, his forehead on his fists. His jaw clenched as his intestines writhed with guilt.

Why are hotel carpets always so ugly.

He thought as he stared at the floor. A fresh wave of self-loathing boiled up from his chest to his face.

God, what have I done! What have I done!? I thought I fixed this! Why didn't it work?

For the first time he noticed the blood stain on his pants.

Oh god! Please say that's mine.

The events of that evening replayed in his head and he recalled the way she gasped as he penetrated her. He felt almost certain the blood was not his. He gulped deeply, feeling monstrous.

I can't change it, I can only focus on the next step. What's the next step?

The pain in his arm reminded him that he needed to treat his wound, she would probably need some painkillers as well. He also considered that he had not used protection, so the first step is to find a first aid kit or a pharmacy. No, the first step would be to let Arthur know where Alex was. He frowned at the thought of lying to his cousin.

It would be so much simpler if she would just let me turn myself in! I'll take my punishment and let them throw away the key! I'll never be able hurt anyone again!

But he had to admit he understood where she was coming from: however distantly, they were connected through family and his actions would cause everyone a great deal of pain. Arthur would find himself in a difficult position as technically Noah owned the largest share of C & S industries. He worked alongside Noah's father every day. And if it got out that he had raped an omega then the company would suffer from the resulting scandal. The situation was impossible, no matter what he chose, someone would get hurt.

First things first.

He reached into his pocket and drew out his phone. Sure enough there was a message from Arthur, another from his father and one from Greame.

Arthur's message read:

Hey! Where'd you go? Is everything ok? Have you seen Alex anywhere?

His father's read:

I hope you have a good reason for disappearing. Arthur and his wife are looking everywhere for you. Ps, keep an eye out for his sister in law. She ran off and didn't look well.

Greames read:

Don't wait up.

He sighed as he sent the same message to everyone except Graeme, who he ignored:

Everything is fine. I bumped into Alex and escorted her back to the hotel as she's not feeling well. Im trying to get some anti-sickness tablets so I may be back late. I think I will just turn in afterwards. Enjoy the rest of your evening.

Next he searched for a 24/7 pharmacy. The closest was inside a hospital a few blocks away.
He stood up looking for his coat but then remembered Alex was wearing it when he put her in the shower. No matter, his wallet was in his pants and he had no desire to cause her any more distress by barging in. He picked up the key card and left.

Obtaining the morning after pill was a simple matter of lying to the pharmacist. The drug was the same for male and female omegas, so he persuaded them he needed it for himself. They asked him some questions about his general health, his medication and weight. About his cycle, when sex had occurred and if it was during his heat. The pharmacist noticed the bite on his arm and delicately asked if he had consented.

"Yes," he coughed as his voice caught, "Yes it was consensual."

The pharmacist kept a neutral expression on her face as she explained that if he was ill at all, soon after talking the pill that he would need to come back. He left the pharmacy with his script and a stack of pamphlets many of which, he noticed, contained crisis support information.

Alex was still in the shower when he returned. He tended his wound while he waited but still she did not come out.

How long has it been? What if she can't get out? What if ...?

Images of Ben floating in the bath flashed through his mind and he began to feel anxious. He hadn't properly looked around the bathroom, what if there was something she could hurt herself with? He panicked and knocked on the door.

"Alexandra?" He called.
Silence.
He knocked harder and raised his voice "Alexandra!?"
Still nothing, fear swelled in him.
"I'm coming in!" He rushed into the room and was relieved to see it looked the same as he left it. She was hunched over, exposing her naked back which rose and fell with easiness of sleep. She appeared so vulnerable under the falling water, her hair hanging in rivulets parted at the nape of her neck.

He forced himself to focus on the shower faucet as he switched it off. Taking a towel, he covered her head and neck first. Then, he took the bathrobe from the door and gently slipped her arms into it checking for any signs of injury. She grumbled sleepily as he lifted her out of the bath and brought her through to the bed. As he lay her down, she gasped, her eyes snapped open and she crawled away from him, pressing her back to the headboard. He pulled the duvet and covered her legs before stepping over to the other side of the room. Then he sat down in the chair and clasped his hands in his lap, interlocking the fingers as though in prayer. Gently he spoke, "I'm glad you're awake. There's just a few things I need to say and then I'll go."

She said nothing and his eyes lowered to the floor.

"Firstly, we did not use protection. On your bed side table you will find some painkillers and a morning after pill." She glanced to her left and saw a bottle of water, half a strip of painkillers, a small stack of pamphlets and, on top of them, the box containing the contraceptive.

"You can take it up to 72 hours after..." he faltered, "... I would advise you to wait for your stomach to settle. If you are sick after you take it, you will need to speak to a pharmacist." He paused and looked up at her meaningfully, "I can assure you that I don't carry any diseases, but... for your own peace of mind ..." again he trailed off awkwardly and it took him a moment to recover. He inhaled deeply and continued, "Secondly, I told Arthur you are here..."

She looked up coldly and interrupted, "You didn't tell him?"

"No, I didn't tell him. I sent a message telling him that you were sick and you were at your hotel room." She nodded her head and resumed staring at the duvet cover.

"Lastly...." He struggled to find the words. "... what happened tonight... should never have happened to you. I thought.. I thought I had my urges under control. I spent years developing a suppressant for Alphas and this is the first time it has failed me. I need to know what went wrong. This drug is on the market... if there's any circumstance that causes it to fail, I want to know about it. I don't want anyone else getting hurt.
I know I have no right to ask you for anything, but I may need your help."

She frowned but did not speak.

He took a deep breath and stood up. She flinched, so he stepped back toward the door. He reached into his wallet and took out a business card; his office address, email and phone number was printed on it. He laid it on the table next to the key card and said, "You won't be asked to give me any personal information. You won't even need to come into contact with me. I'll just need you to send me something, that's all. I'm leaving my details here in case you change your mind about any of it. I won't run, whatever you decide to do." He opened the door and stopped, then turned and said, "Alexandra? You won't try to hurt yourself, will you?"

She replied dully, "I won't do anything to hurt Cat."

He hesitated, wondering if he should sweep the room for potentially dangerous objects.

"Please, just leave!" She cried hoarsely. He nodded and softly closed the door. From the hall, he could just discern the sound of her piteous cries.
Sighing heavily, he reached into his pocket and found his car keys. Instead of returning to his room, he would drive home and make his excuses in the morning. He did not realize, until several days later, his suit jacket was left in the bathroom.