An Intangible Pattern - Fate Bound.

A warning

Noah bid his solicitor farewell and hurried back into his car. He sat in the driver's seat staring into space. Adrenaline made his heart pound uncomfortably in his chest.
“Fuck!” He breathed, grasping the steering wheel.
What do I have to do to get arrested? I just made everything worse!
How could he break it to Alex, that not only had he failed to get himself locked up, but he would find it hard to leave the country.
I was so sure they would want this wrapped up. I was so sure they would have charged me on the spot just to avoid the media backlash.
He didn't want them looking further into the case. He didn't want Alex to be discovered and subjected to the hell of a trial. It didn't make sense.
He drew out his phone and text Alex.
I need to talk to you.
It took several hours for her to respond. As soon as he heard the alert he snapped up his phone.
Tonight. Same time, same place.
- Ok.
Noah twitched the curtain and looked outside. The road was empty. He shook his head at his own paranoia, nonetheless when he left the cottage at half past midnight he opted to slip out the back door and take the trail through the woods to Arthur's home.
He snuck up to the door and deposited the mask and the keys just as he had before, then retreated to the picnic table where he donned his own mask and secured the handcuffs around his wrist.
The weather had turned cold and he huddled into his coat while he waited. About ten minutes later Alex appeared wrapped up in a blanket. His stomach tightened at the sight of her, dreading the moment he would let her down again.
“Hey,” she whispered cautiously, keeping her distance.
“Hi.”
“What did you want to talk about?” She said, getting straight to the point.
Noah took a deep breath, “I…” he halted unsure where to start.
“Is everything all right?”
“No, it's not.”
She studied him from her seat on the flower bed.
“I tried to turn myself in today…”
She drew her blanket tighter around her and frowned under her mask.
“But?”
“They didn't arrest me! I confessed and they let me go.” He blurted furiously, the words tumbling out in an expulsion of air as he finally released the breath he had been holding all day.
Alex went pale and froze. After a moment she whispered,
“So what does that mean?”
“It means I'm under investigation. It means they have a reason to doubt my statement and they will be watching me. You need to get out of here Alex. Go back to the sanitorium until things calm down.”
His chest ached to see her trembling, he wished he could reach out and comfort her.
“We have to stop contacting each other. At very least, not on these.” He urged, waving his phone in front of him.
She nodded dumbly.
“The way things stand, I can't get myself locked up and I can't leave. I'm sorry. I fucked up.”
She still didn't respond.
“Alex? Are you alright?”
“...”
“Alex,”
She began to gasp for air in short, sharp breaths.
He stood up instinctively to help her but jolted as the handcuffs caught on the iron table. She cringed away from him.
“Alex, slow down. I'm not trying to hurt you. Just breathe!”
The mask was stifling, she retreated up the steps and took it off, tears streaming down her face.
She sat down on the ground and smothered her cries in the blanket.
He sank back down at the picnic table watching her in pitying silence.
She isn't well enough to deal with this! This is all my fault.
Eventually she cried herself out though the occasional exhausted sob still escaped her. She still sat on the ground hugging her knees, her head tilted listlessly.
“I'm sorry, Alex. I thought if I removed myself from the equation you would be safe.”
“Just stop.” She mumbled despondently, “Why did you even come here?”
“I came to warn you... And to ask you a favor.”
She snorted disbelievingly, “What now?”
“I need something with your scent on it.”
“I already did this,” she snarled.
“It got damaged.” He said, cringing at the thought of what he did to her shirt.
Angrily she fumbled under her nightgown and removed her underwear throwing them on the ground between them.
“Is that enough for you?” She hissed disdainfully.
He stared at her in grim silence.
“Don't bother doing anything else on my account, just leave me alone.”
“Please Alex, just promise me you will leave here as soon as possible. I don't want them to find you.”
“It's none of your concern. I shouldn't have listened to you, I should have reported it and taken the consequences.”
“I'm just trying to protect you.”
“Noone asked you to! I don't need your protection, if you want to protect me then just stay away from me. You don't know me, so stop trying to take responsibility!.”
“I am responsible. This is my fault, all of it.”
She turned an icy glare at him, “That's it isn't it? You feel guilty, so you want me to forgive you so you can feel better? That's why you won't just leave me alone.“
Noah looked away and the corner of his mouth twitched self-mockingly. His muteness infuriated her further.
“Fine, I forgive you, now fuck off!” She tossed the keys down the slope and they bounced off the table into the grass. Both Noah and Alex stared after them.
An explosive hiss burst from Alex, “For fucks sake!”
She started to walk down the slope but Noah barked a warning.
“Stop!”
She halted at his command. He raised his hand and pointed to his face, “mask.”
She hurriedly pulled the mask on and stomped down the slope switching the torch on her phone. Noah edged away from her as she shone it into the grass.
“There,” he said, pointing to where he saw a flash of silver.
She snatched them up and savagely threw them into Noah's chest, rushing past him.
“Alex?”
“What?!”
“Are you sure you want me to take that?”
He pointed awkwardly to her crumpled underwear on the ground. With barely controlled rage and embarrassment she spat through her teeth, “I don't care. Take it or leave it.” Then she left.
Noah sighed and unbound the handcuffs.
I guess I should have expected that. He thought ironically. Everything went to shit from the moment we met. Of course she doesn't want my help.
With a heavy heart he recalled her words -
“You want me to forgive you so you can feel better.”
She wasn't wrong, but it wasn't the only reason.
I don't want to be the monster that haunts your nightmares. I want you to feel safe.
Strangely he preferred it when she was angry at him. Her vicious glare and sharp words hurt far less than it did when she shrank from him. At least when she was angry, she wasn't afraid. He was prepared to take whatever she threw at him if it meant she no longer looked at him like that.
When she was angry it was as though a spark came alive in her, the life force he himself had been instrumental in dousing. He felt a strange compulsion to feed it: to see her come back to life, to glimpse who she was, to know her.
He shook the thought from his head.
She wants nothing to do with me.
No wonder: he had overstepped her boundaries and treated her like a child, adding insult to injury. For what? For his own absolution? His own pride? So she wouldn't think so poorly of him? Why did her opinion of him matter so much?
This is an obsession. I have let it take over and now I am acting like a fool. This will help no one.
He reached into his pocket and withdrew a ziplock bag. He felt dirty as he picked up her underwear and sealed it in the bag then sealed it again in a second bag. He slipped it into his jacket pocket musing on how this would look if he was searched on his way home. He retrieved the mask he'd lent to Alex and left through the moon door. As soon as his feet touched the forest path he took off his own mask. He breathed in deeply the scent of pine needles and the tinny tang of frost, it eased the tightness in his chest a little. As defeated as felt he at least had one consolation: he had another piece of the puzzle, all he had to do was work out how they fit together.