Hot Summer Nights

12

Chapter Twelve

Landon

You can do this. Just knock on the door and tell her what you planned.

I've been mulling over Levi's advice for a few days now, trying to think of just what to say to Leah when I see her next. Everything sounds perfect in my head. It's been worked out, practiced, and ready to go.

Now, I just have to work up the balls to knock on her door. I've been pacing for about five minutes now. I'm shocked no one has called security. I probably look like some psycho stalker as amped up as I am right now.

Jesus, dude, just fucking do it!

I take a deep breath and prepare myself. It's now or never. My hand raps on the door and I listen as her footsteps work their way closer to me. Fuck, I hope this works.

The lock clicks and the door to her apartment swings open, leaving me face to face with a very surprised Leah. "Landon? Wha- uh, what are you doing here?"

Here goes. Time to bring out the charm. Go on buddy, just like you planned...

I'm mentally prepared to spout out the heartfelt confession I carefully practiced over the last few days. I've got it memorized. I know what to say. I've practiced how I want to say it.

But when the time comes, my head and my mouth don't coordinate. I'm fully unprepared for the hot mess rambling that starts spewing from my face.

"Leah, I like you. Like a lot. I know you think I'm an idiot who doesn't know how to do this, but I do. I think. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, I like you and I want you to be my girlfriend because... I like you."

I think she gets it, man. You like her... Move on.

"Anyway, I just had to tell you. And I think it's a big mistake for us not to try this out and see where things go."

I stop to take a breath and gauge her reaction. She hasn't said anything, but there's a crease in her brow and she doesn't look the least bit impressed with what I've said so far.

Okay, it's fine. She hasn't kicked you out yet. Just calm down and tell her what else you practiced.

"I've never felt like this before."

Leah's face softens, giving me hope that she's open to trying this out.

Keep going.

"I really like you. I enjoy spending time with you. I think you're hot and pretty and funny. We have great sex. Like the best sex I've ever had sex..."

This is not what we planned...

Just like that the confidence I had coming into this vanishes. As does the soft look on Leah's face. This is going south fast.

Fix it!

"That's not the point! The point is, I want to spend time with you doing things other than having sex."

She's quiet for a minute, thinking over what I've just said. Maybe she'll actually give me a chance.

I can't tell by her facial expression what she's thinking. I just hope whatever it is, I'm going to like it.

"So," she starts, "you like me..."

"Uh-huh."

"... Because I'm hot and pretty and we have great sex?"

"Yes! No. Shit, wait that's not all. There's so much more to it-"

Her face, that beautiful, flawless face is now frowning. At me. Because of me.

She crosses her arms in front of her. This isn't good. Abort! Abort!

"Have you ever been in love, Landon?"

Huh?

"Uh..." Her question takes me by surprise, and suddenly everything I had practiced, everything I had left to tell her vanishes from my memory.

"Didn't think so. Have you ever had your heart broken?"

"No," I tell her honestly.

"That's the problem. You've never been serious enough with anyone to feel anything real. You don't know how much it hurts to find out you're in deep with someone only to find out they don't feel the same."

"Leah, I-"

"This would never work," she waves her hand between the two of us. "Sure, you may enjoy it at first, but then when the next hot thing comes waltzing by, you'd lose interest. And I'd be the one left heartbroken. I can't be your little love experiment. I won't."

My mouth goes dry and my heart starts stuttering in my chest as I scramble for something, anything to say that will change her mind.

"I can't start a relationship that was based on sex."

"Leah, that's not what this would-"

She holds up a hand, and my heart plummets to the floor. "Please, just stop. It would never work between us, Landon. It's better if we don't even start."

Her eyes find mine for a split second, and I see a sadness in them. It mirrors what I feel as she tells me, "you should just go."

The door starts to swing closed, but I catch it just in time. I can't let it end this way. I have to try. "So, that's it? You won't even give me a chance?"

The words are angrier than I mean for them to be, but I can't help it. I'm desperate.

Leah shoots me another sad look. "It's better this way. Trust me."

She doesn't even want to try. "Just like that?"

"Please, Landon. Just go." She sounds exhausted, like I zapped the life out of her just by being here. That kills me.

I feel a knot forming in my throat as I stare at the floor. Nothing has ever hurt as bad as her rejection. After talking to Levi, I thought there was hope. Now, there's none.

I feel empty, hurt, beat down. There's no point left in trying to make my case. She's already made up her mind about me. About us. "Fine," I tell her, removing my foot from her door.

Without another glance her way, I turn around, making a fast exit to my Jeep. It's over.

It's really over.