Hagrid Loves Hermione

Moves Made

"I think I found some!" Hermione yelled from a thicket. Harry and Ron approached her, pausing when they saw her plump rear hovering in the air as she bent over her find.
Perfectly heart-shaped it was, and Ron swore it had grown twice it's size since last year.
He elbowed Harry, who was already stunned and staring.
"Are you guys coming?" she asked.
"I wish.." Ron whispered.
"Come on, Ron."
They walked up to her, avoiding her elevated butt like it could bite them at any moment.
"Look!" she said, holding up a handful of truffles proudly.
"Yah, good one, Hermione." Harry said.
Behind them, something big came crashing through the brush.
Ron and Harry started to reach for their wands simultaneously.
"Blimey, it's just Hagrid." Ron said.
Hagrid came into the clearing, leaves and twigs falling from his jacket and beard.
"Ah, there you kids are. I thought ye may have gotten..."
"Look Hagrid! We found them!" Hermione said, offering him the truffles.
His eyes lit up like lamps.
"Oh ho, nice big ones, Hermione!"
"You can say that again." Harry muttered.
Hagrid and Hermione looked at him quizzically. Ron coughed.
"So what do we do with them?" she asked Hagrid.
"Oh, we'll feed a few to me hogs for a treat, and save the rest to make a nice big stew."
"Oh that sounds yummy. Can we have some when it's done?"
Hagrid thought about it, scratching his beard.
"Well if ya want, you can come by tonight and help me prepare it."
Harry and Ron looked at each other.
"Er, me and Ron have Quidditch practice." Harry said.
"Oh, that sucks." Hermione said. "I can still come help though."
"I don't think that would be.." Ron started.
"That would be a fine idea, Hermione." Hagrid said, patting his hair down.
"Wait..." Harry said.
"What are you two going on about. It's just Hagrid."
Harry and Ron cleared their throats, looking at each other again. Hagrid watched them patiently.
"Er..well, Draco might.."
"Young Draco won't try anything while I'm around, ye boys won't have to worry about that." Hagrid said, patting Harry on his shoulder with a big hand.
"Fine, it's settled. It's gonna be so FUN!" Hermione said.
Hagrid smiled big and sheepish.
They all began walking back to the group, Harry and Ron lagging behind and silent.

That evening, the two of them sat on their bunks with their heads together, scheming quietly while Hermione got ready for her "dinner date."
Ron rubbed his cheek.
"This ain't good, mate."
"No shit." Harry answered.
"What're we gonna do?"
"What can we do? Hagrid is a teacher. Everyone will claim his invitation is innocent."
"Yeah, but they don't see the way he looks at her. What's Hermione gonna do if he corners her and...tries to diddle her or something!?"
"Keep your voice down, Ron."
"Sorry. It's just...I can't believe we have to worry about Hagrid, of all people."
"And don't forget Draco lurkin' about someplace."
"Shit." Ron said, punching his knee. "There's gonna be trouble. Bet yer booties."
"Well, I think I've got a plan to deal with it all. Lean closer."
So the pair of them sat whispering with their heads almost touching, while Hermione sat in a mirror adjusting her makeup, oblivious to it all.