𝐍𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 / BNHA / Dazai OC

八

no proofreading we die like Oda--

nah but fr i made the dumb ass choice to get my nails done and now my typing speed has been decreased from 72 words per minute to 55 so rip
wait is 72 even good.
how many do ppl usually get.

fess up y'all what's urs🤺

...

well ANYWAY enjoy<3 also gods of pasta pls help im gonna have to slip dazai back into UA without messing up the bsd canon but then again the power of fanfiction is a thing so ig that's fineeeee so see ya besties<33

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"Oh...that's a lot of things going on..." Shika mutters to herself, watching her phone screen display the latest news on the Detective Agency and Port Mafia. Beside the futon she lay on, numerous cans of alcohol lay empty, some toppled over. "ehh, I'll tell them I got away from the mafia tomorrow~"

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"Day four...four more days to go..." Shika flopped onto her office chair and slid across the Agency room with the grace of a half-dead fish. Kunikida shook his head in a disapproving manner, prompting the girl to lazily sit up.

"I WASN'T TOLD WE WERE GOING TO BE ROOMMATES--" almost bursting through the door, none other than Atsushi himself yelled out upon entering. Behind him, Kyouka stood with a plain face, holding her hands together.

"The agency doesn't have enough rooms, you see," Shika said with a carefree smile, then flipped open her book,

"But..."

"She agreed," Shika shrugged,

"It was an order." Kyouka said simply,

"Don't you get it, Atsushi?" Shika deadpanned, then waved the boy over to come closer.

"Get what?.."

"Without any kin, she's alone as can be. I know I'm a girl and close in age, but I'm leaving in a few days, so I'm a bad pick. Besides, the Port Mafia might send assassins after her," Shika explained,

"That's true..." Atsushi mutters, a small hint of guilt on his face,

Noticing the shift, Shika struck gold with her words, "You should protect her."

Atsushi stood up proudly and nodded. "okay, i'll do my best!" he exclaimed before running off to his work station, and Shika turned back on her chair with an amused giggle and derp-like face.

"If you have the time to mess with Atsushi, write up the report about your capture by the Port Mafia." Kunikida ordered with a sigh, to which Shika immediately reverted to her Serious Mode: Version 2.0 and turned to the poor weretiger.

"Atsushi."

"Yes!?"

"Write the report for me."

"Whatttt..." He groaned,

"It'll be about the person who placed a bounty on your head," She explained,

"You found out who it was?" He asked, leaning forward in his chair,

"According to the Port Mafia's communication records, the bounty was placed by the leader of The Guild; a North American organisation of the gifted," Shika held up a pendrive,

"The Guild is considered an urban legend..." Kunikida raised a brow, "why would such an organisation want Atsushi?"

"...eh?" Shika perked up at the sound of helicopters accompanied by footsteps rushing towards the door,

"We have a problem!" Tanizaki called out upon entering the office, and he hurriedly led everyone up to the roof of the Agency.

"A helicopter? Why not share some of that rich bitch shit with me..." Shika whined while the helicopter obnoxiously landed in the middle of the road. From the door, three people emerged, though it obviously seemed the blondie dude in the middle was the most important. He swung a briefcase over his shoulder before showing off a crooked smile,