Astania Reviews

Azia | Shadow Touched

TITLE: Shadow Touched

AUTHOR: Watts_Writes 

Review

Disclaimer: Please keep in mind that everything in the review represents my opinion on what could make the story stand out more to who I think is your target audience. However, you know your story and your audience best, so no matter what is written here, please stay true to yourself!

Thank you for applying for my review shop! I'm a huge fantasy lover, so I really enjoyed what I got to read. Your book is long and still ongoing, so there is a chance that a lot of my suggestions will not serve the story in general. However, I sense a lot of potential in your first chapter and I believe making a few tweaks can make your story a lot more appealing to the general Wattpad readers!

Description: Your description is well-written and touches on a lot of key plot points. However, it is rather short and missing a lot of information that, if included, could be what makes a reader eager to pick up your book.

"Five years after being banished from Varran City, notorious thief, Naima DeLumine, is summoned back to the world of wealth and nobility she's tried to forget." Already, this presents the idea of a rebel who still has the upper hand. It's a compelling story idea and should be expanded upon! What is she summoned back for? Is she un-banished? Does the kingdom that banished her now want her back?

"Happy with her life of hedonistic pleasure, Naima returns for a chance to say a proper goodbye to her first love, the crown Prince Greyling," Now this presents a new idea of a lost love. Second-chance love is a very popular trope, so this is promising. Is her finding the Crown Prince what she's been summoned to do, or is this just something she thought of doing on her own? The former would emphasize the "rebel having the upper hand" idea, while the latter would hint at the possible rekindling of their love. Either way, definitely something good to be used to grab readers. Also, "Crown Prince" should be all capitalized.

"only to discover he has fallen victim to a deadly curse that threatens not only his life but the world as she knows it." The description ends off in sort of an anti-climatic way because while the stakes are hinted to be high, we don't have any information to believe in it. I think you need another line to really drive home the stakes—if Naima does not save the prince, what exactly will happen to her and everything she cares about? Will she lose the only person she's ever loved (the Prince)? Will she lose the home she grew up in? And what must she overcome within her to do this? Her hatred over the city for banishing her? Her unhappiness over the way things ended with the Prince? There's a lot more to expand here to grab at those Romantasy lovers!

Lastly, you ended the description with a nice logline/tagline-esque summary, which is great for pulling in readers who enjoy these genres! I am confused as to why you labeled your story low fantasy. Just by reading your description and your prologue + first chapter, low fantasy is not at all what I pegged your book to be. There's a lot of magic, and the world is a completely different one from our own. Low fantasy is for fantasy that's set in the current world or has a more contemporary setting. To grab the right audience, I suggest changing this label and just calling your book a fantasy.

Cover: It might be just me, but the image of your cover is quite difficult to see. I think the problem is the contrast between the background and the image—they both have a yellowish hue and have similar saturation/brightness levels. 

For inspiration, check out Ace, one of the most popular Wattpad stories (linked in this in-line comment if you don't know what book it is). I have not read it and this is not a recommendation to read it LOL, but its cover is pretty good and has a similar vibe to yours. Check out how the image on the cover stands out so much more because the background is so much lighter! I'm also going to toot my own horn and suggest my book, The Queen's Maid. The image on that cover also stands out a lot because the model is very bright while the background is very dark.