Astania Reviews

Kae | Kama: Liberation

TITLE: Kama: Liberation

AUTHOR: Shivran86

GENRE: Fantasy

CHAPTERS I'VE READ: Five

PAYMENT FOR YOU

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This review details my opinion. At the end of the day, this is your story, and you know it better than anyone. My opinion is merely that, and it is subjective. I perceived it a certain way and you do not have to agree, since it mostly comes down to my preferences.

Plot

The plot follows a large cast of characters, mostly the Rajan and Ishvara, who are to be married though he is a werewolf and she has lost all of her memory. I like the immediacy of the plot and how, as a reader, I learned along with the characters. I think it strikes a balance between the important plot beats and cultivating the relationships between characters. I did find it kind of hard at times to follow, especially with such a large number of characters, but I think some level of this sort of confusion is natural in the genre you're writing. It is true that you have a lot to balance, and I think some of the finer points got lost in that flow of information. Readers find out pretty much immediately about the werewolves, which I think is great, but because it doesn't come up again for a while, I'd kind of forgotten it, and because the Rajan is the only character so far that readers know is a werewolf, it feels a bit like that needs to be integrated more into the lore or overarching story, since while it does make his character feel more intriguing, it also leads to questions about what the paranormal aspect contributes to the rest of the plot/world. I think you mentioned this is a new addition to the story, and I can see that because the rest of it is so fantastical in tone, sometimes that element is left alone and isn't mentioned as much as it could be. It makes sense given that it's a new introduction from a previous version that it feels like it's been inserted there, and so I wonder if the plot will discuss it more later on.

I feel the same is true for the amnesia plot point. I think that's something that doesn't immediately get brought up, and I'd suggest that it should because of how crucial it is to understanding the character. It's a tough trope but I do think it's one that needs to be brought up as soon as Ishvara is introduced because of how it changes the way readers think of her: she is someone who doesn't know anything about herself or her past, and because of that, she has to learn it. You ideally want to bring forward that ultimate goal so it sets up why she agrees to the marriage and also why she may seem a bit naïve for agreeing to begin with.

I really enjoyed what I read of your story! There were times when the amount of characters had me slowing down, but I generally had a good time reading this, and I think your writing is strong.

Characters + World

Because of the large cast, sometimes I did have trouble in pinning down who was who. But largely, you do a good job in portraying the interactions between them. Sometimes the dialogue was a bit stilted. I think there are times when the more fantasy-style dialogue works in your favour, and times where it feels like information is missing from it that makes it hard to discern. I enjoyed the conversation at the beginning of the second chapter; there are times where characters say things like 'we have reached!' (in chapter three) where I feel like the style works against you and makes it more confusing than it needs to be to understand. It's clear that you do a wonderful job of writing relationships that are realistic and that you have a good handle on your characters. I do think sometimes it may be worthwhile to check the wording, especially in dialogue.