8. Big and small.

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‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚

WHEN YOU'RE A KID, everyone expects less of you. They all tell you, "You can't do this," or "I know you can't do it, let someone else do it." It bugs me so much because I can do it. I could do a lot of things maybe the older kids can't. Just because I never went to school doesn't mean anything. I read books. Books were all I had and all I'll ever have, but down here there's none which is quite disheartening to hear.

Anyway, last night, we saw pretty shooting stars glide through the sky. It felt weird at one moment, I thought the ark was talking back to us. I didn't want them to, but it turned out those were the souls of 300 people who just now died. That's horrible, they killed 300 innocents when the ground was decently safe. What if they killed my mother though? I think I'd be a bit happy.

After that, at least half the camp left to search for Octavia. Bellamy was looking for her and barely realized she wasn't in camp.

The day was unusually quiet. I think everybody was thinking of those three hundred souls. I was too, but it wasn't a big bother to me. Maybe they were thinking of Octavia, or everyone here is just quiet.

I don't know where Clarke and Raven went but I don't know why they're hanging out with each other. I saw Finn be affectionate toward both girls which is weird because from what I've heard, that's called cheating. In a fictional book, that would cause some problems and the girls blame each other instead of the actual cheater. I don't know how or why characters work like that.

Quietly, I sat on my tree branch. The number of kids in camp goes down each day. I don't know how to feel about it at all. I dont know why I always don't know.

Surrounded by all these big kids, I feel small. I feel like an ant walking around in a herd of lions or something. Surprisingly, I haven't been stepped on.

Maybe I was always meant to be here. The kids here, they're bad. They've done something to be here, except for me, but I am sort of bad. I was a bad kid back on the ark. I'd get into all sorts of trouble, never on purpose, I think.

"Hey, mind if I join you?" asked a voice, snapping me back into reality. Once again, it was Ellie. I shook my head at her. She sat next to me.

We both sat there for a moment, not saying a word to eachother at all.

"Who knew it'd be so boring down here without some maryjane," Ellie began, trying to start a conversation.

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 03 ⏰

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