Loomian Legacy: Gone Crazy

S1E1 - Embit's super secret diary that noone knows about

Embit: (writing on a notebook)

Weevolt: Hm what's that? Are you writing on your little 'DiArY'?

Embit: It's none of your business you weed addict.

Weevolt: (steals his diary and sticks his paw in Embit's face in case he wants to get his notebook back) DEAR DIARY.

Embit: Heeey, give it baaaaaack!!!

Weevolt: TODAY AT SCHOOL..

(Flahsback)

I was walking to class with my pals... And Weevolt.

(Real life) Weevolt: Heeey-

And of course, I saw that stupid raccoon, Kleptyke, she said something like:

Kleptyke: Hey dummies, you think you can give me some lunch loomicoins? (Or some other bully shit idk)

And I say:

Embit: We're bringing home made food-

Kleptyke: Good enough (steals his food)

Embit: WAIT!!

Kleptyke: What, you want it back? Too bad (takes a bite)

Embit: Actually...

Kleptyke: (spits fire) AAAAAHHHH!!!

Embit: Yeah, it had hot sauce.

Kleptyke: WHYYYYY???

Fevine: He's a fire type, what did you expect?

Kleptyke ran away while her mouth was flaming, we all laughed, but she deserved worse.

After that, we were once again walking in group because we were about to have class of that bitch Cynamoth, I hope she dies in a fire, Cynamoth? More like Cuntamoth, bitch.

(Real life) Weevolt: Woah calm down Embit.

(Real life) Embit: Don't you also fantasize about brutally murdering her?

(Real life) Weevolt: Eh true.

She gave us 600 pages of homework to do and threatned to spank us, of course I wasn't gonna do that, no matter how bad it hurt.

And for some reason, Mochibi started beating his meat while looking at Ms. Cuntamoth, He's always had this weird crush on her, idk.

Gwurm told on him, thank god, and he got sent to detention, Cynamoth bleached her eyes in front of us and quickly had to be excused, so our substitute teacher was Jermy Fartz, I love him.

Unlike that ass tampon of a teacher, Jermy actually treated us like people, in fact, he even let me talk to Snocub! Finally I get to talk to someone after this shitstorm.

Me and Snocub were talking about how much we hated Cuntamoth, and Weevolt joined us.

(Real life) Weevolt: Sure did.

Next thing you know, the whole class, except Duskit, was trashtalking Cuntamoth, even the substitute teacher! It was awesome.

And all of the sudden, Twittle shouted:

Twittle: I don't feel so good.

And threw up everywhere, her vomit got on Eaglit, Weevolt, Fevine, Twilat, Cathorn, Grubby, the whole class, except me cuz I'm too cool to be affected by vomit (Jk, that motherfucker threw up on me too) Everyone there was horrified except Antsee, he was laughing, that weirdo.

It turns out, Twittle had E. Coli, so that means, Twilat will be depressed and we won't be hearing EUGH EUGH EUGH for the next week, good.

That place is the worst, everytime I come there, I only think about ropes, why ropes? Because I wanted to wrap it around my neck.

(Real life)
Weevolt: Ok I gotta stop reading here I don't know if I can get to the rest.

Embit: Read all of it, coward.

Weevolt: ... "I wish that the world would just end with a fucking meteor crash, I wish that I could rip off Cuntamoth's skin with a cheesegrater, I wish I could circumsize Duskit"

Fevine: Hey can you shut up I'm trying to sleep.

Weevolt: HE'S FORCING ME TO READ HIS DIARY OUT LOUD!

Embit: You asked for it.

Fevine: Oh let me see.

Embit: Damnit at this point it won't be a diary anymore it would just be a notebook with Embit's thoughts that everyone found out, except hopefully Miranda.

Dripple: What's going on here?

Fevine: Embit's diary, come see!

Embit: I DID NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION.

Fevine: What was that?

Dripple: (already reading) Wow Embit, I didn't know you were suicidal.

Embit: (pulling his eyelids)

Snocub: Hi guys!

Embit: Oh hi Snocub! (Flowers appear around him)

Snocub: Uh.. What's happening over there?

Embit: Oh they're just reading my diary.

Snocub: Can I see?

Embit: Sure. (Wink wink)

Vambat: Hey what are we reading, Twilight?

Weevolt: What- No, get out of here with that gay book.

Vambat: Embit wants to kill himself lol bozo.

(The others look at her with a shocked Patrick face as Embit starts rubbing his paws together)

Vambat: ...What did I say?

Embit: (flames Vambat)

Vambat: AAAAHHH AAHHHHH AAAAHHH.

Eaglit: OH MY GOD WHAT'S HAPPENING???

Fevine: Come read Embit's diary!

Eaglit: YEAH BUT VAMBAT-

Embit: She called me a bozo for being suicidal.

Eaglit: (reads Embit's diary while Vambat is screaming of pain and agony)

Fevine: Oh this should be good, it's his thoughts on all of us.

Vambat: I bet he thinks I'm super duper awesomeeEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Eaglit: No, here he says that you're an obese headass with little self control on her anus.

Vambat: I DO NOT SHIT MYSELF FREQUENTLY AAAAHHHHH.

Weevolt: Then what was yesterday all about?

Dripple: And before yesterday, and before that?

Vambat: IT WAS ALL KABUNGA!! SHE DRINKS TOO MUCH COFFEE AND KEEPS SHITTING EVERYWHERE AND BLAMING IT ON ME.

Snocub: Embit, why is it written "highlight of my day" In my area?

Embit: Because you... Look like a highlighter, that's good!

Weevolt: No, it's bad, very bad.

Embit: SHUT UP WEEVOLT.

Snocub: I'll just assume being a highlighter is okay.

Eaglit: Hey guys! I just had the bestest idea, ignoring the current situation.

Fevine: No one cares-

Dripple: Let us hear it!

Eaglit: What if we opened a lemonade stand?

Fevine: ...Where, The HELL, did you get that idea from?

Eaglit: Well it's written on Embit's diary that he once sucked a lemon and got turned inside out so that gave me an idea.

Fevine: Maks sense.