Hell is our girl // tom kaulitz

pt 3; beginning 🤍

Toms pov:
i've just woke up in a different room from mine, for the first time in nearly a year im not high or drinking, i feel something deep inside of me regret guilt anger hatred i don't know but it's something along them lines i smiled at the naked girl i was laid next to, i smiled and gently got up and got back into my clothes i shook her awake and told her i was going, she smiled and kissed my cheek thanking me for the night, i smirked and walked out as i walked down the stairs i looked into the living room and saw a bunch of kids toys on the floor, my heart dropped remembering how i used to walk into my living room and saw my baby playing with her toys, i stared for a bit then i shook it off and walked to my car, i got in and just stared at the dash board, stuck in my thoughts of kalen when she used to wake me up jumping on me or shouting papa at me, the way she always gave me a big bear hug every morning and i kind of miss it.

i looked up and saw something dangling from my mirror i grabbed it and held it in my hand, it was the daddy fish necklace that kalen gave me,

flashback:

we went back to the car holding her tiny hands, when i was buckling her in she gave me the daddy fish necklace, "why you giving me this k?" i asked her and she smiled, "because then when you look at it you'll remember that your my daddy fish" i smiled and took it from her as i out hers around her neck, "i'm gonna hang mine in the car so i can always see it" she smiled and nodded

end of flashback.

i smiled at the memory and took it from hanging on the mirror and put it around my neck i held the daddy fish pendant, im her daddy fish....

i put my seatbelt on and drove back to the house stopping at starbucks to grab a coffee, i got back and for some reason instead of putting tv on or playing video games i put the drink on the coffee table and walked over to the book shelf and saw all kalens books of photos i picked up the most recent one and sat on the couch i started flipping through it.

kalens 2nd halloween (27.10.2004)

my heart sang looking at this picture her first halloween we could spend properly, her favorite colour changed to orange after this, and her love for the holidays started, i remember her trying to eat one of the pumpkins and i panicked and quickly picked her up. i laughed at the memory.