𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴, 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 (𝘣𝘹𝘣)

forty nine

Noah wasn't doing too well after the news about his mom. She went in for treatment a few days later and was already negatively responding. They already anticipated, knowing chemo usually made her sick.

He tried to visit her frequently; however, it was starting to get hard.

Benjamin was in the kitchen, brewing himself some coffee before work. He hears his phone buzz on the counter, walking over to pick it up. He smiles when he sees Gabi's contact on the screen. "Good Morning."

"Morning, love," He can hear Gabi typing away at her computer. "Are you free for lunch today? I need some best friend advice."

"Oh no," Benjamin grabs his travel mug, screwing the cap on. "What happened?"

"Having identity issues. I'm not sure."

"Okay, yes, I'm free," Benjamin says. "I would come over and have a wine night, but." He glances over at Noah's bedroom. "I'm not sure if I should leave Noah alone."

"How is he doing? How's his mom?"

"Uh...Not great. I mean, his mom is responding okay, but...you know all the negative symptoms of chemo. It's just hard for him, you know?"

"Poor guy. Maybe we should get the group together? Try and cheer him up just a little bit?" Gabi asks.

"I don't know," Benjamin shrugs his shoulders. "He's still going to work, and he isn't drinking, which is good. I'm just gonna keep checking in on him."

"Checking on who?" Noah walks into the kitchen, his hair messy, his pants hanging low on his waist. "Who are you talking to?"

Benjamin looks up at him. "Gabs...good morning."

"Morning," He leans down and kisses Benjamin once. He walks past him to the coffee machine to brew himself a cup.

"Okay, Gab. I'll see you at lunch, okay? Love you." Benjamin removes the phone from his ear, hanging up the phone before turning around. "Morning."

"You already said that," Noah says, taking a sip from his coffee. "You don't have to baby me, Benjamin."

"I know," Benjamin frowns as he steps forward to grab

Noah's free hand. "I just know that this isn't easy. And...I want you to be healthy and safe."

"I know." Noah sighs and looks down into his coffee cup. "But I'm fine." He says as he looks up with a smile.

Benjamin furrows his brows and tilts his head. "Are you sur-."

"Mhm." Noah leans in to kiss him. "I gotta go get ready for work." He sets his coffee cup down and walks back into the bedroom without another word.

*  *  *

"So what's going on?" Benjamin asks, shooting Noah a quick text.

"Okay, so you know how I've always said that I'm unlabeled...or whatever? And I've dated guys in the past but during college, I hooked up with a bunch of women so I was a little confused and I was-."

"Oh my god. Slow down, Gabs," Benjamin chuckles.

"Right...Sorry. So basically the last time that I've been with a guy has been since...actually like high school."

"Mhmm," Benjamin sips his drink.

"Anyways...I was starting to think maybe I'm just bisexual but...I really think that I'm a lesbian."

"Okay...and you've just realized this?"

"Don't say it like that!"

"No, no I don't mean that," Benjamin shakes his head. "I'm genuinely asking. Have you ever thought about this before?"

"I don't know. Cause I really liked Lucas in high school but maybe I was just trying to project myself as straight. And I ended up hurting him cause of my crush on Elly and that just made more sense. I was jealous of Jaz and now I'm thinking maybe I was jealous of her being out and open."

"Well," Benjamin smiles a little. "I'm glad you're figuring yourself out. Have you spoken to Alexis about it?"

"A little bit. I've always just been unlabeled but...it's always just felt right with women, you know?"

"That's good! Gabs this is a good thing."

"I know ... I know. I think all these feelings are coming up cause...I really really like Alexis. And I don't want her to think she's an experiment."

Benjamin smiles and gets up from his seat, wrapping his arms around her. "Awe! Gabi, I'm so happy for you." He leans away, his smile still on his face. "Super proud."

*  *  *
Benjamin finished work at around five, making a quick pit stop at the store to grab some ingredients for dinner.

He uses his key to unlock the door to the apartment. "Noah? I'm home!" He tosses his keys down, furrowing his brows at the silence.

He makes his way to Noah's bedroom and sees him lying down on the bed. Benjamin frowns as he steps forward, getting a clearer view of the state Noah is in.

It seemed like he never left the house for work. And even though he steered clear of alcohol, the look on his face reads it wasn't an easy task.

"Hey, baby," Benjamin says, wiping the tears from under Noah's eyes. "I'm home now...I'm home."

Noah blinks up at him, shaking his head. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Benjamin asks.

"I tried to go to work I really did," Noah sniffs, bringing his hand up to wipe under his nose.

"That's fine...it's okay." Benjamin leans in, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Please don't ever hesitate to call me."

"I just didn't wanna bother," Noah shrugs his shoulders. "I know you had plans with Gabi at lunch."

"She would understand, Noah."

Noah nods, reaching his hand out to tuck some of Benjamin's hair behind his ear. "How was it? Lunch?" He asks.

"Good...It was good. Gabi just needed me to shed some insight on something going on."

Noah nods his head, wiping under his eyes again. "That's good. I'm glad you got to see her today."

"Do you want to talk a little more?"

Noah shakes his head. "I'm okay. I think I just had a bad day," He shrugs again. "I think I'm okay."

"Okay. You can talk to me whenever, okay?"

*  *  *