Coming Home (Station 19/Grey's Anatomy fanfic)

Things can go wrong (Part 2)

Accidents happen. Nothing is perfect. Stupid people do stupid things. However, in most cases, you can prepare. But there are rare cases that are so out of the blue that you just can't wrap your head around the situation. Right now I have my hand in a fellow firefighter's chest. I am also on my way to one of the operating rooms in the last place that I want to be in. At least I am surrounded by people who can give the man the best chance of surviving. Luckily for me, it doesn't long for us to arrive.

"Erin, I want you to climb off carefully. Make sure your hand doesn't slip," Andrew is the one that is instructing me. With a deep breath, I do as he says. My grip tightens as I gently climb off.

"Ok I'm off," I announce as my boots hit the ground.

"On three will move him to the table on three. One. Two. Three," With a few but careful movements the man is placed on the operating table. My grip is still tight. It doesn't take long for the pair of us to be prepared for the surgery. After another minute the doctors begin their work. It doesn't take long for disaster to strike.

"Sorry to rush you all but I need to let go. My hand has just cramped," I announce to the horror of the others.

"Don't worry Erin. I'm almost done," A doctor who I assume to be the cardiothoracic surgeon retorts as she makes the last incision.

"Clamp," She orders before being handed the required instrument. With a single movement, she has the artery clamped just by my fingers.

"Can I pull my hand out?" I tentatively ask.

"Slowly," she responds. With her instructions, I take my hand out. My glove is all but soaked in blood. With permission, I leave. As I leave I take my glove off and toss it in the contaminated waste bin. Now for the hard part. Waiting. It is now up to the doctors to finish what I started. I soon find myself in the emergency waiting room with Travis, Captain Emerson and the rest of the crew from station 23.

"What's the news?" Captain Emerson asks as he joins me.

"Unfortunately the tool was dislodged during transit but due to where the tool was I had to clamp the aorta with my hand. The doctors are doing everything they can to repair the damage," I explain what is going on to Captain Emerson. He is not happy. That is obvious. One of his firefighters was injured by stupidity. I start pacing again. This time it's because I know the consequences of what has gone wrong. Sensing my concern Travis pulls me aside

"Erin it's going to be okay," Travis gets to work on reassuring me.

"You don't know that. I had my hand in that guy's chest. I was literally the only thing standing between him and certain death," I counter. There is a lot that can go wrong. However, I know Andrew and the other doctors know what they are doing.

"Well, you do trust the doctors right?" Travis counters.

"I do but...," I trail off as what I was going to say makes no difference. After some back and forth between Travis and I we head back to the others. Before we have the chance our radios crackle to life. It's a request for an ambulance.

"Leave it. One of the other stations can handle it. We need to wait," Travis remarks as I try to leave.

"No. I need to leave before something happens. I can find out if the surgery is successful or not from Andrew. He is on the team," I snap before my breaths catch on my throat. Oh no. I can't have a panic attack. Not now. I feel everyone's eyes turn to me. Before I can say anything Travis turns his attention to the others.

"The last time she was here she lost someone and she was stuck waiting. All she got was bad news," Travis says as he gets to work on guiding me to a private spot. After a couple of minutes, Travis finds a corridor that is free of firefighters. I will have to thank him later. Travis coaches me through some refocusing techniques. After a couple of minutes of following Travis' instructions, we are about to leave the corridor disaster strikes.

"Erin?" The voice belongs to my brother's arch nemesis Alex Karev. To be honest he has probably changed.

"Hey, Alex. Um... With all due respect, I have places to be and you are the last person I want to see," I say, getting a funny look from both Travis and Alex. I hear Travis say something to Alex as I leave to rejoin the others. It doesn't take long for me to rejoin the others. After the second longest eternity of my life, we are joined by Andrew. He has a look on his face. It looks like pride but I can't tell. I will have to ask him later.

"Thanks to Erin, Theo is going to survive," Andrew addresses the whole group. The tension that was building just washed away. At least this time my presence saved a life. It is at that moment that I notice Travis is not too happy. I will have to ask when we are cleaning the ambulance. After a few minutes of driving, we made it back to the fire station. As soon as the ambulance comes to a standstill Travis and I get to work on cleaning the ambulance.

"So Travis, are you going to tell me what that sour face is for?" I get to work on getting the information from him. For some reason, he turns away from me. It is as if he is embarrassed by the thing that is bothering him.

"It's nothing. It's personal. I don't want to talk about it," Travis shuts me down.

"Well ok, then but you have to tell me eventually," I counter. After all, he owes me since I told him about the fact that I have issues with Grey Sloan.

"I know," Travis responds. He sounds like a puppy that is being punished. He is not. I just want to know as it feels like he lost someone. I shrug the urge to ask again off as I focus my attention on the cleaning. To my surprise, there isn't as much blood as I thought. That makes life easier. After a few minutes of cleaning the ambulance is now spotless. Since the others were still at the scene I decided that I was going to cook something to eat while we wait for them to return

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