ninjago imagines

(like the breaking of glass) | kai s., lloyd g.

"Why." Kai questions, except he's too tired and the question falls flat into more of a
statement. Lloyd shrugs, blonde hair scraping across his shoulders (it's getting too long), and sips at the bitter concoction. (He doesn't make a face anymore. Kai isn't sure when he drank enough to get used to the taste.)

Or, a snapshot of a new, on-going, melancholia piece on the ninja.

☼☼☼

Kai's in the kitchen the first time he hears it.

The ceiling above his head clicks as weight shifts, a tell-tale pattering of footsteps coming down the stairs as a broken panel creaks. He sighs, and pours another lukewarm cup of coffee for himself, tempted to cradle the half empty pot of rapidly cooling caffeine to his chest and ask Zane to find a way to inoculate it directly into his bloodstream. Another exhausting day, what feels like ten more exhausting battles, a silent (exhausting) dinner of picking at food and pretending it passes at a somewhat edible level, and then watching as everyone slips away to bed and he's left standing in the kitchen, listening to the familiar hum of boiling water.

And every so often, (more often than he likes to admit to himself) Lloyd starts appearing downstairs in the middle of the night, usually when Kai has decided to either start piecing together the grocery list or tearing out his hair over taxes (because they may be ninja and city-wide known heroes, but the Ninjago Government has mercy on no one.)

Sometimes he curls up on the couch, works on draining their grainy tv of it's remaining batteries, and watches the news through half-lidded eyes, keeping himself from falling back asleep. Other times it's earplugs jammed in his ears, music turned up so loud Kai can hear the tune spilling through, all razor-sharp beats and piercing lyrics. (He wonders why Lloyd doesn't want to fall asleep. He wonders what he's running from, what dream was so awful he can't risk going back to sleep, and then Kai looks down at the dregs of his coffee and quickly banishes the thought from his mind before it escalates any further onto his own situation.)

This time, though, the green ninja walks into the kitchen and steals the rest of his coffee from under his nose, finding the largest mug they have to empty out the contents into.

"Why." Kai questions, except he's too tired and the question falls flat into more of a

statement. Lloyd shrugs, blonde hair scraping across his shoulders (it's getting too long), and sips at the bitter concoction. (He doesn't make a face anymore. Kai isn't sure when he drank enough to get used to the taste.)

"Yesterday was her birthday," Lloyd says. "She should— should've been alive for it." He voice breaks at the end. He doesn't say anything else, and Kai looks at him.

Really looks at him, for the first time in a while, besides quick, guilty check overs for injuries, avoidant gazes at the dinner and the like. Nothing lingering or long enough to find any under-the-skin issues, cause then he'd never stop digging down.

His little brother looks... tired. More tired than any sixteen year old should be. He studies the dark circles under his eyes, sharp against pale skin, and thinks about how ironic it is that the legendary green ninja's greatest enemy will be chronic fatigue.

(Which. Well. If he's being honest, which is getting harder and harder to do everyday, it's what they're all pretending to ignore. Excuse after excuse, no matter how stupid, is accepted with a smile that doesn't reach the eyes and a comforting word, because if anyone confronts a issue they'll have to deal with their own, too.

Kai sees Nya down in the engine room hours past after the others start trailing to bed, hears the tell-tale muffled gasps of someone jerking awake from the nightmare, watches Zane forget entire days despite being a nindroid. Then he spends night after night staring at a bleach stain on the ceiling, spinning himself a web of thick lies to lie on. Nya's just doing repairs, we have to take off early tomorrow. Jay's always been a light sleeper, anyway. Zane's just having some malfunctions. It'll be fixed soon, all of it.)

"Maybe it should've been me." Lloyd adds, so soft Kai thinks he might've forgotten the fire ninja was beside him.

"No." Kai finds his voice just before the gap grows too long to say anything, long buried panic rising in his chest. "No, don't say that." (His heart is already speeding, beating against his ribcage like the way it does during missions, except this is. Different.)

Lloyd's own voice is duller. "I set the Great Devourer free, Kai. By myself. Unless you'd like to tell me someone was pulling the strings for that, too?"

Kai doesn't say anything after that. What is he— what can he say? A thousand excuses spring up at the tip of his tongue, but some part of himself deep down knows Lloyd doesn't believe it, won't believe any of them, doesn't want to believe any of them for reasons none of them can explain, no matter how many times Wu gathers them in his stuffy little room and delivers a speech about supporting their green ninja in his times of need. (And he's so tired. Tired of being the rock to cling on, the supportive older brother who had to be there no matter what. It's horribly selfish, and Kai wants to kill that little part of himself every time the thought crosses his mind, but he's just tired.)

So. The room stays painfully, excruciatingly silent, until Lloyd finishes his coffee, setting down the mug in the sink with a dull thunk, and pads back upstairs for what no doubt is another sleepless night.

Kai takes one last sip of his coffee, which has long since turned ice cold, and sets about boiling another pot of water.