The good evil: Dericine

Theus Malbeur

Song rec- helplessly (remastered) by Tatiana

Chapter-9

Theus Malbeur

Soul. Half of my soul and half of my guilt that's how I would describe Theus Malbeur. Everything I wasn't, starting from his unflawed laugh to the most envious kindness of his when he gave me his hand.

Just the fact he didn't.

He never talked to me actually, neither did I of the things we were most afraid of.
He used to sing songs. I used to hum them in my nightmares. He used metaphors and I thought he knew me. His concern was to see me but I didn't wanted to be seen.

He was sunshine, I was a problematic mess. And if I wasn't so fucked up we would, we could have been so good.

***

"Dericine?"

I turned back to see the source of this careful voice. Before I did, the cloudy fog cleared up, The voices ringing inside my head fell silent and everything was just as I had imagined it.

An empty place, somewhere desolated, with only the clear sky above my head and sturdy land below my feet, my clothes would flow, I would be shocked and a boy would whisper my name but quietly.

"Dericine!?" Theus enquired.

Before it was too late that I lose my balance from my existential dilemma I hear footsteps approaching one's that I know are not of a predator. I hope I fall down and he catches me just in a blink of an eye but oh God my strength is so uneccesarily useful at a time like this. I gain my balance as I gain my consciousness.

"Theus."

"Derice..... are you fine?"

Does he know that I'll lie?

"Of course I am." I smile. "I am not dead you see. And if I'm not dead what can be even wrong with me and if I am dead too what's wrong with that." I ramble beacuse I was never taught what to say in situations like this.

His eyes are dissolved in disappointment. I sigh Before continuing.

"I was just joking you know, right?

He touches my hands. I feel goosebumps in my neck and before a second passes away, he tightly clasps my hands together with his. They're warm. His hands are always warm. And I could give details on the shape and features of his hands with just feeling them.

"You know there's a galaxy named 'little cub' somewhere in our universe." His hand move towards his bag and he brings out something foggy.

"Coffee?" He says in his usual chirpy voice. "It's your favorite. just the right amount of bitter and dramatic drum noises-- no sweeteners at all ma'am"

"Quick, hold it, my hands are gaining muscles already."

I pretend to laugh at his stupid jokes. I grab the coffee but it's already too late. It's cold.

It's already too late. Everything is bad. I-i wanted to tell you how-

"The wheather's really good right now, isn't it? Just the way you like it." He recited. His voice cools me.

"I don't even know what I like." I respond. My preoccupied thoughts don't let any comprehensive ones pass through my brain.

"Let's go, no one cares if we skip the school."

"Sure, but first eat something, don't skip your breakfast."

"It's barely 8:50, turning my head down I say, I'll make up for it in lunch."

"And lunch is 5 hours later."

Before I could even understand anything he holds my wrist like he isn't even holding me. My eyes go and search all over his face trying to find a rational reason I could say that he thinks of me as something more than that I think he does, but my eyes fail and return to where they always rest, at the ground.

We grab some fruit salad at the nearby Cafe and Theus buys his third order of coffee of the day.

"It's 9 am already,Theus."

"Calm down eat your salad."

His hands swiftly shifting me to the seat near the window and him going over to sit besides me. I wish he sat in front of me.

We finish our salad. And of course we're late. Even my piercing gaze can't get through this boy's head who's making my head spin.

"Now, now I know we're late but that's only cause I wanted to-" he stops mid sentence making a stupid face "have a race! Yes, a race. Let's see who gets to school first."

"Winner has to buy a latte for the other", he says.

I  can do nothing but stare and sigh at his face.

I win.

We don't get punished. The teacher's car got wasted so we were free from the first class.

The wheather is supposed to be good today so I lay my face down the desk just when another wind engrosses me in itself. Theus smiles standing in front of me.

I sigh. "What.", I say when I want to say much more than that.

"Look at the sky.", Theus urges.

"That's the last thing I want to do today." Remembering the morning's episode.

He goes away.

Well, who could resist the urge to leave me?

I turn my head away from the window and him and lay my head down. Again, a presence offends my peace.

"What is it."

Before I could hear a response I see a picture of the sky. This stupid boy is showing me the sky on a picture holding out his phone.

"It is beautiful, a little ugly though."

"What is that supposed to mean."

"Nothing much."

I say with a pause, "do you believe in angels Theus?"

His eyes are possessed by a bit of hostility for a second. He gives me a stupendous look. "Of course I do, look at you."

"I feel like I'm getting sick."

"Hey don't make that face!"

I lay down again. I know he's lying. He lies so often. And his intentions are confusing so much often.

We are each other's best friends but we're really just strangers. And I prefer it that way.

Theus only knows about my life as I tell him. I told him long ago that I was taken by my family when I was a month old and that they're my foster family.
I also know about him just as much as he tells me. He didn't tell me much though, for a fact I know nothing about him. Just the fact that he doesn't really mix well with this family as well.

He is mysterious and I like that in him. We are alike and it gives me comfort to be mysterious with him.