The First to Fall ⚢

𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞 • 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧

Oh, the joys of a local college town's Denny's.

Spending hours waiting for the food you ordered as soon as you were seated sounds like torture, and part of it was, but spending it with people who are all different and interesting in their own special ways made it all just a little bit easier. That even counts for Cara, who hasn't been her usual insufferable self today. Part of me thinks she's actually been acting nice? That part may or may not be a little bit delusional, though—hard to say.

The dinner went well enough, despite the excessive wait for food that was served cold in the end anyway, and everyone enjoyed themselves, as far as I know. The bill was only split two ways, thank god, so Cara told me and our other roommates to just pay her back whenever we can. It always kills me when she does that; she always acts like money means nothing to her when money constantly seems to be the nail in my shoe. What I would give to live that life instead.

Everyone makes it home safely, as established in the brand new group chat now including Ambrose and Theo, who I suppose are now part of our friend group. Is that what we all are? One big friend group already? God, I love college.

"Hey, have you guys seen my tabby cat pen?" Norah asks when I get out of the shower. She's searching frantically around the living room while Cara and Opal both claim they haven't seen it anywhere. I'm about to agree with them until I find it nestled between the dining chair and the wall.

"Oh, thank you!" Norah beans, planting an endearing kiss onto my warm cheek. I smile back at her and head into my room, where Cara is on her bed watching Netflix.

As I'm setting my dirty clothes into my hamper, I hear my phone buzz on my desk. I flip it over quickly to see a message from a contact I haven't heard from in far too long.

juli: hey lovebug.

That nickname; it feels like it's been years since I've heard it. Probably because it has been—at least coming from her. It used to be a family nickname since I was born on Valentine's Day, but it quickly carried its way into her vocabulary after what felt like no time at all.

My head fogs up as my chest begins to ache with the thought of her. Julianne, my first real girlfriend, and simultaneously my first real heartbreak. Why does she still make my heart flutter after all this time? Even after everything that's happened between us.

hey stranger, I text back without taking a single second to think it through. It's probably stupid but I can't contain myself. It's Julianne, of all people; asking me to resist her is like asking me to stop breathing for a moment—just long enough to lose consciousness. Is that healthy? Do I care?

She takes a few minute to respond, simply asking me how I'm doing. How is she trying to speak to me so casually after how things went down?

"Someone's eager," Cara's voice echoes from behind me, sending my heart jumping. I slam my phone face down onto the desk, terrified for some reason. I guess part of me is ashamed of being so quick to talk to Juli again after how badly she hurt me, and another part of me would hate for Cara, of all people, to see me this pathetic.