The First to Fall ⚢

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 • 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐚

That did not just happen.

At that back to school party, I was trying things I'd never tried before. Things I'd never even think of trying until I was completely finished with school. Things like smoking and drinking and flirting, which I'm now realizing is a horrible combination.

I mean, I know I didn't do too much of any of those things, but I definitely did enough to make decisions I'm not too sure about now, like letting a random girl out her number in my phone, which was out of character enough for me. But on top of that, the fact that I haven't even texted this girl since that night makes me shake in utter shame.

"You mean she recognized you?" Opal asks when I tell them and Norah about our brief meeting earlier.

I nod aggressively. "And I definitely recognized her."

"Yeah, she's kind of hard to forget," Norah says with a reminiscent smirk. "Is she just as hot in broad daylight as she is in the dark?"

I can feel my cheeks flush as I process her question. Is she? Before that night, I didn't think I could describe any girl as hot or attractive without meaning it in a friendly, encouraging way. But Sasha—she's hot, objectively. Her confident energy is so charming and her smile is so enticing without even trying. It does make her more interesting to me than some others but would it be right to say I like her as more than a friend? There's an undeniable nervous, bubbly feeling in my stomach when I think about her smiling at me, but is that a crush or just my need for validation talking? How do people differentiate between those two?

"What did she say when she came up to you?" Opal asks, bringing me back from my panicked identity crisis. "Was she flirting with you?"

"I don't know," I tell them truthfully. "She just said hey and asked how I was doing. Then she asked if I remembered her, and of course I do, so I said yes. But then she told me her 'offer still stands,' so I got confused."

"Babe, she was definitely flirting." Opal turns to look at Norah, who nods in agreement. "Her 'offer still stands'? She wants you so bad."

I chuckle but there's a pit of fear in the bottom of my throat. "You really think so?"

"I do. Do you like her like that?"

Oh, god, not this question. "I don't know. Maybe? I've never really had a real crush so I don't think I know what that feels like."

"That's valid. Plus it's probably harder to think about it since she's a girl," Opal says. "Unless that's not something that you're worried about."

"I mean... maybe? I've never really flirted with anyone before, let alone a girl. Is it any different that flirting with a guy?"

"Kind of. Sometimes with girls you have to choose your words carefully; make things sound a little more intentional, you know?"

I take a deep breath, trying to take this all in. Should I really text her? Should I actually go for it?