KILLING ME SOFTLY 𖣔 EUPHORIA [FEZCO]

21

"Is Rue in her room?" Lexi came down the hallway. She stopped at the sight of the teenage girls. They were gathered around, whispering and laughing. The brunette gave them a scolding look as she approached the door.

Priscilla continued to rub Rue's back, slowly rising from the bed. Her hand firmly gripped onto the handle, poking her head out.

"What's up?" She questioned, her eyes glued to the group of girls continuing to gossip.

Lexi followed her glare, lowering her voice, "Is it alright if I come in?"

Priscilla stepped back, opening the door wide enough.

She quickly turned the lock behind Lexi, wincing as she heard the snorting noise.

Rue picked up her head, scratching the bottom of her nose.

She flashed Lexi a shy smile, "Hey." Rue bent down again, plugging her left nostril. "These, uh, were my dad's."

"How are you feeling?" Even though her voice was deeply concerned, Lexi's eyes remained soft.

Priscilla walked over to the windowsill, taking a seat as the two conversed.

Rue shrugged her shoulder, her eyelids beginning to droop. She took out the pill bottle, struggling to undo the cap.

Priscilla pushed herself off from her seat, shuffling over to the teenage girl. "I think that's enough, Rue."

Lexi stared at the interaction.

"Yeah," Rue coughed softly into the palm of her head, "you're right, you're right."

Rue handed over the pills, her hands ice cold.

Priscilla let out a deep breath, placing them on the dresser next to Lexi before returning back to the window.

"I, uh, I found this poem, and I thought of you," Lexi suggested, trying to lighten up the dark and tense mood.

" If it's C.S. Lewis, I can't," Rue shook her head.

"No, it's not. I promi-"

"Every hospice nurse says that 'Grief is a long valley.'"

"Yeah, but that's not the full quote," she said, with an optimistic tone.

Rue looked down at her feet, the black ballerina flats compressing them. She hadn't been forced to where the shoes since her middle school graduation. "Yeah, well, it's enough for me."

"Well, the second part's kind of sweet."

"What is it?" Priscilla interrupted, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Uh," Lexi couldn't help but to crumble her judgmental stare. "A winding valley where every bend may reveal a new landscape."

"That's not that bad," Rue chuckled.

"Can I read this to you?"

"Uh, yeah, I'd love that."

Lexi shuffled through the yellowish pages of the book of poetry, "It's called 'Let This Darkness Be a Bell Tower' by Rainer Maria Rilke.

'Quiet friend who has come so far, feel how your breathing makes more space around you. Let this darkness be a bell tower and you the bell. As you ring, what batters you becomes your strength. Move back and forth into the change. What is it like, such intensity of pain? If the drink is bitter, turn yourself into wine. In this uncontainable night, be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses, the meaning discovered there. And if the world has ceased to hear you, say to the silent earth: I flow. To the rushing water, speak: I am.'"

As Lexi finished the final words of the poem, she could hear the faint snores of Rue.

Priscilla cleared her throat, raising an eyebrow, "Well, I liked it."

"Thanks," Lexi nodded, her eyes falling on Rue. The broken girl laid curled up, her feet falling off the edge of the bed. "Do you think she'll be okay?"

"I don't know, honestly. I just try to be there for her as much as I can," Priscilla began to rub the temples of her forehead, "Don't-don't tell anyone that she does this, okay? She doesn't want her mom to worry about her."

"Maybe she should be worried."

"She just uses them to sleep, today was overwhelming for her. You should be able to understand."

Even though the girl's words had hurt her, Lexi chose to swallow the lump forming in her throat, "Okay, okay. I won't say anything."

•

Priscilla shifted uncomfortably as the scene played out.

The auditorium lights went black as Lexi's voice began to narrate.

"I knew Jade had been doing drugs, but it wasn't until that day, at her dad's memorial, that I realized they were a greater comfort than Penny and I ever could be. Maybe that's a silly observation, but we were only 13."

Priscilla glanced over at Rue, whose eyes didn't leave the stage.

"It was the summer before I started ninth grade back when we thought we'd all be friends forever."

"There were five of us," Lexi said as the lights came back up on the following actresses, "There was me, Grace.

My sister, Hallie.

Her best friend, Marta and Marta's best friend, Luna.

And my best friends Jade and Penny. And this is life. Not everyone's life. But our life!"

Everyone's jaws dropped as Maddy harshly nudged Priscilla, "Wait, is this fսcking play about us?"