Dumb Luck

9

✧𝙼𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚢✧

He has a tennis ball, for some reason. Must've had it in his backpack.

Even from all the way across the library, I hear it bounce off the wall and carpeted floor every couple of seconds. Over and over, he throws it against some wall, catches it, then throws it again.

I'm tempted to go tell him to stop, but I quickly realize that he's just bored and doesn't pass the time the same way I do. It's annoying, but he's not hurting anyone. And I think I hurt his feelings before he walked away, so I decide to let him be.

He's only here still because I don't want to go with him. I don't get it, but it makes perfect sense to him, and I guess that's really all he needs. For it to just make sense to him. And since it does, he's going to sit in here with me until we both can leave at the same time.

It's really dumb of me to not want to go through the one door that is probably our only shot anyway, but I can't bring myself to do it. I know as soon as the alarm sounds, I'd get spooked and it'd ruin it. Either that or we'd get detention come Monday when they check the cameras to see who the hell sent the fire department over on a Saturday afternoon. Knowing this stupid school, they'd blame us for it. And even after blaming us, Ethan's on the football team and is needed. They care more about his future than he probably does, so they'd let him off with a slap on the wrist. Leaving me to pick up the slack.

Or maybe I'm overthinking the entire situation and I'm just wasting our time.

One thing's for sure, though. We can't stay here until Monday. For one, I'm already starving, and I think I finished the last of his water. Not to mention the fact that we won't have time to go home before school on Monday. We both will probably reek by then. I at the very least have my deodorant in my gym bag—and I pray he has his too—but our clothes would still probably stink some. Also, I hated eating mints this morning instead of brushing my teeth like a normal person.

I guess I'm more horrified by the hygiene part than the starving part. That's okay with me though. At least my priorities are straight.

One thing I can't figure out as easy though is the kid across the library. I thought I had him figured out, but that was before I had an actual conversation with him. And now, I don't really know what to think of him. I've tried to let go of what I thought I knew, but I find myself asking questions about him based on whatever I confidently decided.

Like, why does he care so much about being my friend? And why did it seem to genuinely hurt him when I said I didn't want to be his? It's not like I fit in with any of his other friends. That's a fact. I'm pretty sure it is, at least. It probably is.

The thing is, I really didn't mean to hurt his feelings. I didn't want to, but in hindsight, I don't know what I expected. I mean, I told the guy I didn't like or hate him and that I didn't want to be his friend just because. I couldn't offer a reason other than I just didn't want to. Because I don't actually have a reason.

Which I'm realizing is a kind of shitty thing to do. The more I think about our short time in here, I start to notice I did smile genuinely during our conversations. They were good ones, I think. And he probably liked them too. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been so hurt that after them, I still don't feel much for him.

Maybe that's a lie.

"Hey, Mal?"

I glare at the ground. Never mind.