The Selection ✓

sixteen - as free as I could ever be

The next time I happen to stumble past Will is a pure coincidence, and even I'm getting tired of undermining the tiny somersaults and hurls of adrenaline I seem to be getting whenever I see him, or even as we brush past each other in the large corridors of the palace.

Our budding friendship seemingly categorized as taboo in this setting, only helps us sneak longing glances at one another. Except, my heart still seems to be torn. I don't know who I want, and I don't know whether they want me either.

It was after yet another frustrating session with Sylvia. While I had to admit that the letter-from-home test was probably the smartest idea to see how much we actually learned, everything only went downhill in her schemes.

Especially when the girls had already caught her drift and only became poised around Sylvia in particular.

I was pretty satisfied when the results of the letter test were revealed to us in the common room. Sylvia wore a smug expression as a chunk of girls realized that they had messed up. Bad.

I came out on top, I smiled brightly when she read my name, while Sarah came right behind me. I guess I had learned to accept that she had a brain, too, and moved on with my ever-so-special achievement.

So I made my way to the infamous garden, with breathable air, and non-claustrophobic situations, and found myself freeing my feet from my shoes and quickly stepping on the benches barefoot.

This was as free as I could ever be in between a state I had no knowledge of, and a home I couldn't reach. Don't you ever leave me, don't you ever go. The music played,

Even if when you're angry,

One step, two steps, a leap. Plié. My arms worked they're magic, moving in sync with my body. What can I say? It's a natural gift.

even when you're cold,

Soubresaut followed by a Temps Levé Arabesque. That was all the deja vu I needed. A memory of my childhood flashed. I used to do this often when I was younger, and although I had gotten injured at some point, today, I felt like a rebel. I would do it all again. No regrets.

A smile played at my lips.

don't you ever leave me,

I had shut my eyes tight, only dancing when the sounds of the birds chirping felt right. A small tune lifted the air, and I had just stepped into the beat.

alone.

Then I had begun to sing with the lyrics, doing what I did best, with what I loved. Smiling, I had only continued. My eyes were still shut, it's blue orbs resting in peace. I had placed an imaginary microphone in my hands and had begun to sing, giving a performance made up of everything I needed to lash out at the moments.

I sighed as I finished, my eyes finally flashing open, only coming to the horrific sight of having someone watching me the entire time. Will. He just watched, with his big doe eyes, there was nothing for them to say, and nothing to do.

"That was beautiful." He remarked, "Holly, it really was."

I'm lost in thought, but all I remember doing is stepping off the bench, which I happened to use as my stage and slipping my heels back on. My head was lowered in embarrassment, and all I seem to do is rush away.

Will looks like he's ready to chase me until the ends of the earth, but with all the tension coming from Lucas lately, pauses and just watches as I run away.

Although I kind of wished he would chase me down.

***

The Women's room no longer had the quiet feel to it, instead, it had turned into a social point. One that served it's original purpose. Although it was being put up to good use, I missed the time when all the girls had ignored the room.

"What's happening." I slid into the seat next to Callista, shooting her a questioning glance.

She shrugs, "Everyone had the sudden urge for celestial peace. And so, the Queen declared that it was time for us to get to know her, and vice versa."

"So, a get-to-know-the-Queen day?" Denise asks, earning yet another shrug from Cal. "Is it just me or is this just being random."

I shake my head, "They're trying to narrow us down, obviously," I took an educated guess. With all the tests, and training with Sylvia, plus the influx dates ongoing, it's pretty obvious that the royal household is preparing for the competition to reach its next stage.

"So," The Queen pressed her manicured fingers together, while a maid stood behind her combing each and every red strand into perfection, "Getting to know all of you."

Even Sarah had the courtesy to keep silent.

The tips of America's eyes crinkled in happiness, "I remember when I was in your shoes," she reminisces, cocking her head to the left, "I was quiet, too. But thinking back, I guess I would've chosen to speak more. You know, makes the memories worthwhile."

That was all it took to break the ice. Soon enough, all the girls found themselves letting out information on their backgrounds, me included. And the conversation continued to flow with America letting out an occasional laugh, or nod in between someone's sentence.

Then, as the conversation began to slow, we all quieted down, drifting into conversations on our own, or burying our heads in a magazine.

 America only smiled as she shook her head and the attitude continued to drop as did the demeanor. I walked over, taking a seat closer to the Queen. She smiled as I approached and waved the maid away. "Mary, It'll be fine. I can handle it." then she faced me, "Holly," she winked, "To what do I owe this entertainment."

"I'm glad you take my life problems as entertainment." I grinned. This was how our friendship had developed. We now spoke like best friends, especially in a competition as cutthroat as the Selection.

The girls had begun to notice my move from my regular seat to next to the Queen, who looked as youthful as ever, by the way, and while most shot me confused glances, Sarah and her group looked as if they were ready to shoot me down.

"Of course." Queen America declared softly, "Such a good use of my time." she winked, "Anyway, what's bothering you."

I bit back my lip, hesitating, I could tell her anything though and she'd keep it quiet. It was all I needed, "Your sons."

She seemed taken aback, "Which?"

"I don't know, both? I think I'm just in love with both of them." I clamp my mouth shut, "Oh wait, please don't turn me in for breaching laws, Will and I didn't do anything, I swear. In my life."

She laughed quietly, "It's okay," the magazine was put back on the coffee table, "But although it seems like you've got to make a choice before it's too late, are you sure you can choose in the first place?"

America had a point. What if both Prince's didn't see something more with me, what if all along, there was no choice, to begin with. 

I sighed, "You're right, I suppose." I was lost in thought, "Thanks, America." she nodded, quietly resuming back to her posture. 

I headed back into my room, and decided to call it a night. Some rest would do me good. I hope.