Don't Waste Your Time:Frerard

Ch. 3: Insomnia Doesn't Beat Me

I lift my sleeves of my shirt up but quickly stop the urge to look at them. Gerard is taken back by the sight. Then he does something that takes me back. He suddenly hugs me and you can hear him start to cry. "Please tell me that's the worst you've done..." he desperately asks me. I mimic him by wrapping my arms around his thin body. "It's not even close, Gerard..." I whisper. I can feel my self nearly burst into tears. He starts to run his delicate fingers through my hair. I feel like a horrible person now. No, I don't feel like one. I am one. I haven't known Gerard for twenty-four hours, and I've already made him cry. "

What else have you done to your self, Frankie?" he asks, still running his fingers through my hair. "Can we talk about this some other day. I promise I'll tell you. Just not now. Please?" At first I thought he was ignoring me but then he lets go of my body and extends his arms to hold my shoulders. Then he brings my forehead to touch his. "You better not break this promise," he says, smiling after.

He is so unpredictable. He moves away, lays down in a comfortable position, and instantly falls asleep. I turn the lights off and stare at the ceiling. I can feel my self become light and then my eyelids shut. I wake up to the smell of something that churns my stomach. I sit up to find Gerard in my kitchen cooking. "Whatcha' doin'?" I ask, peeking above his shoulder. "Making bacon," he replies. I walk away. Why does everyone eat meat! Do you know what they do to the poor animals! It's sickening and sad.

He turns around to find me take a seat at the dinner table. "Why did you walk away?" he asks. I look at him. "I don't like meat. But I'm not mad." He looks back at the bacon sizzling in the pan. "Do you just not like it or what?" he asks. "I'm a vegetarian," I reply, pulling out the book I had started the day before. "Oh! Well that's cool." I told you he's unpredictable. I thought he was going to lecture me on how meat helps your body and how without it I won't receive enough protein in my body to survive normally, but he doesn't! He says it's cool. I smile. I know he didn't see it but I can sense he felt it by the way he turns and smiles back.

He grabs the cooked bacon off the simmering pan and sets the pieces of meat down on a plate he grabbed earlier, maybe when I was sleeping. Speaking of sleeping. I actually slept last night! It's been months, but insomnia didn't beat me this time! I actually started to forget how amazing it feels to sleep. Especially when your body is worn out and broken. You feel like you're suffering. Mentioning the topic of suffering, along with the fact I slept, my head is banging so hard I have a feeling my brain might implode and send my guts flying all over the walls.

Gerard sits in the chair across from me and grabs a piece of bacon. Observing it, he quickly sets it down and then looks up at me. I take it my face had a confused expression across it because he smiles again. My stomach jumps when he smiles at me. That's odd. I never get that feeling. "Why aren't you eating your bacon?" I curiously ask. "I don't usually eat my food. Plus, I'm really hungover and my stomach is aching. I'll probably give it to Mikey when he wakes."

I look over at Mikey who's still sleeping on the couch, then back at Gerard. "I feel the same. I don't think I've had a hangover this bad, before," I reply back. "Speaking of hangovers, I'm sorry we drank your stock of alcohol. I'll buy it all back for you," Gerard says, giving me a promising look. "You don't have to, Gee. I ca-" "No. I'm restocking it whether you like it or not. Got it?" I can't help but nod. I still feel weird talking to another human being.

We sit for ten minutes talking about everyday stuff, when Mikey and Ray join us. "You gonna eat that, big bro?" Mikey asks Gerard. Ah, so Gerard is oldest. He shakes his head and scoots the plate over to his brother. I watch him as Mikey takes the piece Gerard held earlier and eats it. How can they eat it without thinking of the slaughter houses... It's terrifying. I don't have a problem with people eating meat. I mean that's what they choose to consume, but I mean do they even think about it for just a second? Probably not...

Bob shortly joins us. He looks like he got jumped. His hair is everywhere and it looks like he got a huge amount of soap in his eyes. But I don't think I should be talking. I think we might all look like shit, too. Mikey is missing his beanie and glasses and his hair is everywhere. Ray's fro is extra fluffy and Gerard's hair is all parted weirdly, well at least more than it was before. As for me, my hair is probably sticking up in the back. I don't have long hair like Gerard, buts its not as long as Bob's either. It's a bit shorter. And Bob doesn't have extremely short hair, either.

Mikey finishes his bacon just as Gerard gets up and motions me to follow him. I gladly stand up and trail after him as he heads to my front door. "Where are we going?" I ask as I close my door. I believe it's been close to two years since I've been outside, when there was sunlight. I prefer the rain. Or darkness. Or inside. "I don't know. Lets just walk around," he says, resting his arm on my shoulder. I'm the perfect height for an arm rest. That, or I'm just really short. I look around my neighborhood.

I didn't even know I had neighbors who had children. I don't even think they know I exist. I watch as a teenage boy and his friends play basketball in their driveway hoop. "Hey, what time is it?" I ask. Gerard rummages through his pockets trying to find his phone. He unlocks the screen. "1:35 in the afternoon," he replies as he puts his phone back in his pocket. I nod to say thank you. I take my attention off the teenagers basketball game and look off to my right. "Ah! What the hell?!" I scream. Damned sun! This is the exact reason why I don't expose my self to the outside! The sun is a bitch! "What!?" Gerard yells. I shield my eyes and look away. "I stared right at the stupid sun! I hate the sun..." I reply, trying to regain my sight.