Don't Waste Your Time:Frerard

Ch. 9: Old, Bad Habits

Don't Waste Your Time: Frerard Chapter 9: Old, Bad Habits

Gerard pulls up on the curb in front of my house I decide to act cool and play it normal. After all, if you show someone you're okay, they won't be concerned and they won't worry about you. Trust me. From past experience, this works pretty well. I wait until the car is at a full stop before opening the car door and sliding out. I keep a normal pace when walking to my front door and I don't hurry when I unlock it. Just stay cool, Frank. I am. I know you are but I'm reminding you... That didn't just happen. I usher everyone to head in before me. I close the door behind me and lock it.

They all make their way to the couch so I follow them close behind. "Care to sit with me?" Gerard offers, patting the empty spot next to him. I look over at my spot on the couch and frown. "I was planning on sitting in my usual spot..." I reply, rather quietly. He lets out a little giggle and smiles. Damn, that was kind of cute. Cute? Holy shit, Frank. Stop. Talking. To. Yourself. "Aw, c'mon! Just this one time?" he pleads. Well, now I can't say no! He begged! With the puppy eyes and everything! Mikey snorts at his brothers behavior and Gerard shoots him a look of pure irritation. I shrug my shoulders and walk over, sitting by Gerard. "See. It ain't so bad, Frankie boy," he comments, giving me a side hug. I smirk and let out a little laugh. "Yeah, I guess for a little." It feels so wired to sit here, though. I miss my spot but I don't want to make Gerard sad so I guess I'll stay.

Everyone starts their own conversations and I just kind of sit there, staring blankly at whatever was there in front of me. Gerard snaps his fingers in front of my face. I shake my head in surprise and blink a couple of times. "Whoa. You okay there, Frank?" he asks me. I slowly nod and then smile. "Yeah, just day dreaming..." I reply, slightly dazed. "Alrighty then," he says, turning back to his brother and continuing their conversation on the next issue of Doom Patrol. I love that comic book but I'm so fed up on the hatred to my self that I leave the conversation alone. I glance over at the clock. 10:45pm.

Five minutes pass and I stand up, which immediately sends Gerard eyes looking at me, questioning my sudden movement. I faintly smile at him and he narrows his eyes in confusion. "I'm tired, guys. I'm going to go to bed," I announce, patting Gerard on the shoulder and walking to the stairs. I get a chorus of goodnights and then a hand on my shoulder about half way to my room.

I stop and turn around to find Gerard standing there, a big smile on his face. I smile back. "I know you're not tired, Frank..." he says sighing. My eyes widen. How did he know!? "Is it that noticeable?" I ask. He shakes his head. "Nah, I can just tell. I do the same. You get bored of the conversation and you say you're tired so you can escape. Trust me. I know," he explains. Fuck. I thought he could tell what I was going to do. I'm safe. "Oh, well you're good." He smirks. "I know. Anyways, I'll see you some other day," he says as he turns around. I nod. "Sounds good." I take a step towards my room and then he grabs my arm, turning me around and kisses me. Fucking kisses me. This is second time we've kissed. I never complain either. I always kiss back. And that's exactly what I do. I kiss him back. But I quickly pull away. He looks down at the floor. "Sorry, Frank..." "Why sorry? Didn't I return it?" He looks back up at me and grins, nodding. "So don't be sorry. Go it?" I say. "Got it." We pause for a moment, staring at each other. "Goodnight, Frankie," he whispers in my ear, his lips slightly brushing against it. My body jumps at the slight touch and I blush cherry red. He smiles and walks down the stairs.

I stand there for a few minutes, trying to comprehend what just happened. Why the fuck does he always kiss me!? I mean, yeah... I like it. A lot. It's nice to be kissed. Especially by Gerard because he's really cool and stuff. Y'know. Attractive and shit, but why does he kiss me? There's nothing to like about me. I'm a depressed, suicidal freak who sits in his room thinking about the next way he'll attempt to kill himself. I sigh and walk to my room, reaching for my blade from under my mattress. It's a little piece of metal, rectangular in shaped. I examine it for a while. I haven't touched it in a while and it's one of the only things I still have in my room because Bob and Ray don't know I still have it. I take a really deep breathe and walk out of my room, to my bathroom, where I silently close and lock the door. I drag my feet to the sink, placing the metal blade on the edge of it. I grip onto the sides of the sink with both of my hands and I glare at the image in the mirror.