Don't Waste Your Time:Frerard

Ch. 10: Someone Out There Loves You

I slowly open my eyes and I find Gerard still there. Still holding my hand. I honestly thought he would have left but I guess not. And I guess that's a good thing. It shows that someone cares. That they bothered to stay.

I smile at him- sound asleep, a little sweet smile on his face. I would have never guessed I would ever have a friend like Gerard Way. Actually, I really never thought I would have any other friends besides Bob and Ray. But I stand corrected. I study the features on my sleeping friend's face. He looks so peaceful. So calm. I'm not saying he doesn't look like that when he's awake, but when he is awake, he always has a really laid back expression across his face. To be completely honest, I think he's stoned. Literally stoned. I have no idea what drug (possibly an inhalant of some sort that gives him that chill attitude) he might possibly take, but he's not just like that without anything. He's so open. He really doesn't give a flying fuck about anything. He just does whatever he wants, with this same smile plastered to his face. Don't get me wrong. I love his smile. It's cute and heart-warming, but honestly, it's never not there. But, hey? Who am I to complain? At least he's happy. Unlike me. I can't be happy. I was made to be a sad, lonely hermit crab who never comes out of his shell.

I sigh and continue watching Gerard. He makes a soft noise and then squeezes my hand as he slowly flutters his eyes open. I smile at him as he adjusts to the rooms darkness. "What time is it?" he asks, his voice tired and barely above a whisper. "Um.." I look over at my clock. "Almost midnight." He sighs, still not letting go of my hand. "It's late, man. I should head home," he says, his eyelids failing to stay open. I frown. I really don't want him to leave. It's nice to have someone next to you when you're so used to being alone. Plus, I kinda like Gerard... Well, more like I do like him. A lot. And I won't doubt it. I decide to offer him the night, again, without sounding desperate for him to stay. "Pfft. You're joking right? You can't even keep one eye open. You can stay here tonight," I say casually. At least I hope it was casual. Dammit, Frank! Calm down...

Gerard's eyes open once again but they fall back down. "I've been staying here a lot though..." he replied, trying to deny the fact that he doesn't mind staying... At least I think he wants to stay. I smirk. "I know you'd rather stay here then get up and drive home. You can borrow some pjs. I think I might have a pair that are slightly bigger on me... Y'know. Because I'm all fun-sized and shit and you're extremely tall compared me..." Fuck. I'm rambling random stuff now. He grins, letting go of my hand that I forgot he was holding, and rolls over onto his back. I prop my self up on my elbow and look down at him, waiting for his answer. He opens his eyes and looks at me, smiling. "I guess I can't say no to that offer. You have a point. And I think you're the cutest little fun-sized dude ever. Just sayin,'" he replied.

I can't help but let a blush creep on to my cheeks. Damn this man. No matter how fucking depressed I am, he always finds a way to make me feel better. For Pete's sake. He makes me smile. That's really hard to do and yet he does it as of it's his profession. If it really is his profession, I have to say I love it. Honestly. The feeling of being happy. And I never thought I was ever made to feel it. I didn't think the human being Frank Anthony Iero could ever be happy. And people would beg to differ. They would stop me and say something along the lines of this: "Well, how about that one time- yada yada; blah blah blah- when you smiled! Weren't you happy then!?" No. It's called faking it. Much like if a sad woman- well man, too- says "I'm fine," when asked the question, "Are you okay?" That woma- person- is going to fake being happy so the other doesn't have to worry because the least we want is someone constantly worrying about us, right?

Like I tell many people. Don't waste your time. Well, with Gerard, it's different. So different that it freaks me out sometimes. How can one person inflict so much happiness onto another? I find it quite impossible sometimes. That could be just me and my rejection to anything happy but still. Gerard. Gerard is an amazing person. He has such a nice and caring heart. I would like to meet one person who didn't love this guy and just give 'em a pop to the jaw because there is nothing to not love about him. Hell, I'm saying that and the closet to love I ever got was my guitar and music. This. This is so fucking different. I actually enjoy the company of this other human being. A person! I real person! And I enjoy them around! I want them around! I love being around them.