WHY DON'T WE SMUTS + IMAGINES

Jonah ~ Never Made For This

(I'm Back!

WC: 1508

Enjoy <3)

It was five years ago I had found out I was pregnant with his baby.

Jonah and I had met at a concert he was playing at with his band while I was working backstage  and I was smitten from the start. The way his eyes lit up as he sang to the crowd, his smile that brought warmth to the atmosphere, everything about him was mesmerizing to the naked eye. 

I remembered the way he looked at me as he approached me after the concert. He made me laugh with witty banter, conversing back and forth. the next thing I knew I was putty in his hands in his hotel room. It continued that way. A string of intimate encounters. I wanted more from our arrangement, I really did. Unfortunately for me he made it crystal clear that he wanted no strings attached, and I stupidly agreed.

Fast forward to me with our five year old daughter and he was free doing whatever he was doing. I had never told him about Grace. What was the point? If he didn't want a relationship then why would he want a kid? Of course I though about telling him but I was afraid. As soon as I found out, I told him I was done. I ended it. I had to grow up for me and my daughter, I wanted nothing to do with situationships and flings. I needed to provide for Grace. She was my everything from that moment on.

I held grace's hand as we were out walking around the park. I giggle a bit as she let go of my hand skipped over to a park bench. I follow and sit with her before I let her go to play at the park. About an hour passed before feeling a pair of eyes on me. I turned to look and saw a tall figure behind me with a familiar smile plastered across his face. It was Jonah. 

I felt my stomach drop as I gasped slightly in shock. Trying to keep my cool I get up and fake a small smile, trying to act as normal as I possibly can.

"J-Jonah!" I chuckled nervously as he pulled me in for a hug.

"Long time no see, I missed you." His warm embrace squeezed around my waist carefully. It caught me by surprise before pulling away and gesturing for him to sit on the free spot of the bench beside me.

 He happily complied and sat with me. "I missed you too, how are things? Still in the band?"

"I am still in the band and I am really good. How about you?" His smile distracting me from his question.

"U-uhh I am great," I stuttered and attempted to clear my throat. "Sorry, I'm just really surprised to see you after all these years."

Jonah sighs as his smile faded, tilting his head down a bit before looking back up at me. "Can I jus ask why you stopped what we had?" 

I stopped in shock at the question, not expecting him to care as to why I ended things and to be honest I really had no answer other than the truth. We had a child he knew nothing about. My heart dropped from my chest before trying to get the words out but he stopped me.

"You know what y/n?" He huffed, trying not to feel so upset with me, " I really liked you. I know I said I wanted nothing more than a fling but I was so angry when you left like that. What did I do? Did something change your mind? Someone? What was it?" He wouldn't let me talk.

I tried cutting in before a pair of tiny arms tug at my shirt, looking down to see Grace beg for my attention. "Mommy! Mommy!" I hid my sadness and put a smile on my face as I lifted her up.

I looked back at Jonah. His eyes wide in shock as I could tell a questionable and angry tone affected his facial features.

I turn my head back at my daughter, kissing her head. "Hi baby. you okay?" She nods and looks at Jonah with a wide smile, softening his harsh tone with a small wave. 

"Grace, sweetie?" I asked.

"Yes mommy?" She smiles, still looking at Jonah as I internally panic at my abrupt decision.

"Is it okay with you if we invite an old friend of mommy's back to our place for a bit?" With that, Grace nods excitedly as she looks over at me. I look towards Jonah as he nods in agreement. With Grace in my arms we walked back in silence the whole way back to my apartment.

It felt like an eternity had passed as we made it up to the apartment. We walk in and I put down grace, locking the door before walking over to Jonah. Silence overtook the atmosphere of the room. I could tell Jonah was still angry but he was hiding it well for Grace. I knew I had to explain myself. Tell him why I had lied and kept this secret from him. He obviously knew she was his daughter and I knew this lie couldn't go on any longer.

"Grace? Why don't you go play with your toys in your room for a bit?" I smiled and she nods, running to her room to play with her toys. We waited to talk as soon as her door closed.

Jonah's angry expression came back as he glares at me. "Unbelievable y/n un-fucking-believable.."

"Jo-" he cut me off, which is something he loved to do.

"No!" He shouts, doing very well not to be too loud. "You lied to me. You hid our daughter from me, how could you do this?"

"Oh please, you didn't want a relationship. You didn't want anything serious, So how could I ever believe you wanted to raise a baby?

"Like you would have known? I could have changed along the way, been there for you and grace." Jonah sneered.

"Maybe you would have, but it wouldn't have worked out." I protested.

"You wouldn't have known that." He spoke through gritted teeth.

"For fuck sakes Jonah!" I lost it on him, still keeping my voice down so Grace doesn't hear our argument. "You were never made for this life. You were made to follow your dreams and do what you love. If I stayed and told you about Grace, you would have resented me for holding you back. You know it and I know it."

Silence filled the room. I may have sounded a bit harsh but it needed to be said. After five years of holding it in, it needed to be said. 

He calms down after a bit, thinking about what I had said. I couldn't look at him as he blamed me for this. I understand why. I regretted not telling him, but I felt I had no choice. I didn't want to ruin his career or hold him back and I wanted to raise Grace the best I could, even if it meant hiding it from him. I really wanted to avoid this interaction but, as much as I hate to admit this, I owed Jonah that much.

"Y/n, look I was an idiot." He stated, catching me by surprise as I faced him before continuing, "I realized over the years that when we were together I acted like a selfish, moronic idiot who never deserved someone as amazing as you.. I had a feeling that's why you left."

I sighed and walked over to him. "It's my fault too, I wanted to tell you, believe me I wanted you to be in her life and to be her father but I was afraid."

Jonah nods, "I know." We stood there for awhile, waiting for one of us to break the silence until he finally did. "I want to be in her life.. I know it may be a bit late but I'm here now and-"

"Jo." I stopped him, "I agree, I think you should be in her life now."

He smiles softly as I took his hand and brought him over to Graces room. I knocked lightly against the door and opened it. Grace turned around with a smile as she played. I sat down with Jonah on the floor. 

Jonah tears up a bit as he and I watched her play. I felt horrible thinking of all the important things he missed over the years. Her first steps, first words, all the early milestones that he wasn't around for. I felt so guilty. It was all because of me, because I didn't tell him. All I could hope for is that now we could make up for the lost time.

Grace lifts up a toy to Jonah and asked him if he wanted to play with her, which he happily complied. I watched them together. He was great with her, very sweet and patient. I now knew it was right for them to meet. Things may still be rocky between us, but I could only hope that they could now have a wonderful relationship with each other.