Christmas

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Chapter 10

I didn't answer any of Severus' letters. He wrote to me, asking me to please return his owls so he'd know I was okay. I didn't know what to say to him.

I scribbled a letter that said "Please stop writing to me."

I moved forward to attach it to the Owls leg but changed my mind at the last moment, throwing it in the bin.

I was enjoying my new job, trying to put Severus out of my mind, I spoke to new men. I slept with a colleague, one night when we'd all gone to a bar to celebrate something the entire department had achieved.

It hadn't been very good, I had kept thinking of Severus. He hadn't made me cum either, he dumped a load in me and then fell asleep beside me in a hotel room. I sighed, his arm over my hips. I moved it off me and got up, getting dressed and going home. Ezra was with a girl who lived down the road.

She had been looking to make some extra cash so I let her babysit him. She was surprised when I came home, I wasn't due to be back until much later.

I smiled at her "I'll still pay you in full, thank you"

I gave her, her money, she smiled and left. I knew Ezra wouldn't be up for hours, it was only 10pm. I went upstairs and started wrapping his christmas presents, hiding them under my bed. I got him as much as I could for christmas, I didn't normally get myself anything.

It was the christmas holidays at his school so he was here everyday, getting more and more excited.

It was the 22nd of December, I was sitting upstairs doing my hair. I had a date. The doorbell rang and I yelled down to Ezra to get the door. I assumed it was the babysitter.

I heard him shriek with excitement, which was odd. I reached back and zipped my dress up. It was red and incredibly boob-y. It wasn't something I was really comfortable in but I just wanted to get laid.

I went downstairs and looked at Ezra who was hugging Severus. I stared at him and he looked back at me, his eyes flicking down to my chest. My expression was stony.

Severus looked like he wanted to sink into the carpet, "You said I could come for Christmas"

I shook my head at him "That was before, Severus. That was before i found out about you and what you are."

He shook his head "Just let me explain."

Ezra shook his head "She's going out with Evan tonight! I like Evan"

Severus looked at him before looking at me, raising his eyebrows. "You have a date?"

I nodded "Yes. Yes I do. I have a date, with a man who doesn't lie to me"

Severus looked slightly crestfallen "Go upstairs, Ezra" Ezra nodded and ran off upstairs, humming along to a song.

I looked at Severus and he sighed "I'm sorry Esme. I should have told you. I've changed, I promise I've changed. I'm a double agent"

I just stared at him, shaking my head "I don't know if you're lying or not, Sev. I really like you but you've got that mark..I know what you had to do to get that mark. Or maybe you consider it as earning the mark"

Severus shook his head, I could tell by the expression on his face that he was getting upset. I didn't want to upset him, I just needed him to understand how I felt.

"Esme I did awful things, I regret them everyday. I promise."

I shook my head and looked at my feet, feeling very self conscious in this tight, low cut dress. l didn't know what to say to him. I desperately wanted to believe him but I didn't know if I could.

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 02, 2023 ⏰

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