Static Sadism [DBD The Doctor]

9. White torture

As I sit down on the mattress in the silence I take note of how much pain im in, my limbs hurt, my head aches, my own heartbeats seem too loud... What is the point of this room? The only shadow is from my own body below me, there is nothing to lay my eyes on, nothing to smell, nothing to sense. The silence quickly becomes deeply unsettling, I even catch myself taking smaller breaths to lower the sound of them, im not used to hearing myself this clearly. Is this my punishment for trying to escape? For turning the room into chaos? Does this mean he wont use electroshocks on me anymore? Or at least for a while? I will gladly take that, I feel like he's destroying my brain and I fear permanent damage.

The relief from not being tied up and tortured fades as the white room quickly becomes unbearable. Its only been a what have felt like a couple of hours but I find myself pacing around endlessly, hating the sound my steps make, im only interrupted by the hatch on the door being opened and a tray is placed on top of it, a plate with... rice? Nothing else, just plain rice and water in white paper mug. I try to call out to him, point out the absurdities of this but either he seem to be ignoring me, I cant hear any sound from outside of the room so im not sure if he even stayed to listen.

When I eventually get tired and decide to sleep away the stress of this room I find it difficult, my eyelids are heavy and my breathing deep but too loud in here. The sound of my own heart and the air my lungs push out through my nose become almost annoying. I yell out in frustration, there isnt even any echo bouncing back. 

As I eventually drift to sleep it doesnt last long before I jolt awake by the Abba song. There are speakers in this room?

"Fuck you" I hiss out, even though he probably cant hear me. How did he become like... this? Was his parents abusive? Or was he always a killer? I make an attempt to block out the song by trying to sleep even with the song spinning on replay, hoping that eventually it will become a background noise. It eventually ends and I let myself take a deep breath, my body grows heavy and I fall asleep - only to be awoken shortly after by the song again. I jump off the bed and dash for the door, hitting it with my fists as hard as I can but its not even shaking in its hinges.

"Why?!" I scream out but the sound seem so isolated I doubt it can even be heard from outside, it wouldnt matter if it did, he isnt giving me many answers - this is all still an experiment for him and im his subject... Can I even do this? I slide down with my back against the door. Am I mentally strong enough to keep this up?

The broken sleep combined with the sensory deprivation eventually cracks me completely. Every night, multiple times over and over he plays that god awful song and it alone drives me insane, then, every time it stops im overwhelmed by the silence and lack of things to grasp at to keep my mind clear. All I can think about is the pain in my body and mind. Herman seem to be everywhere even though he's not in the room. My brain keep flashing unpleasant images, of my injured friends and my limbs replay the torture he put me through. He's in my mind, in my body, my bones, my veins, even as deep as in my bone marrow... His wicked smile seem burned into my eyes, the scent of blood stuck in my nose, his laugh and voice in my ears beside the song that he ruined for me. I cant even escape him in my dreams, the few minutes I manage to actually fall asleep he is the one I see, in all his glory and horror.

I wait by the door, there is no point in staying on the bed, I dont get any rest. When the hatch is opened I reach out in sheer desperation before he closes it and grasp ahold of fabric, his sleeve?

"Please" I plead. The act seem to surprise him because he is still. I quickly grow frustrated, why isnt he doing anything? I feel tears prickle in the corner of my eyes but no sobbing can be heard, just short breaths, I dare not make any louder sound, it might upset him, might make him leave, might make me deaf... I've grown to hate my own voice during this time in this room... its too loud... crying is too loud...

I hate him to my core but he is the only one who can take me out of this.

"Please" I whimper, unsure if my voice is even loud enough for him to hear. I feel so scared, I grip as tightly as I can in fear that he will leave me in here. Its funny how things change. When I feel him move away I loose my grip, when did I get so weak?

"No please!" The hatch is closed; making my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach and I slump on the floor in defeat, until the door suddenly opens and he towers over me like some wicked knight in shining armor.

"We are getting closer to perfection."

A/N sorry for short chapter ^^