SILENCE IS A COLOUR (Affinity Series)

Chapter Two

My room had to be always tidy. It was like a norm to me. Before I slept, I arranged everything, when I woke up, I did the same and before I leave the room, it was the same pattern. I think I had accustomised myself to this when I finally got my personal room at the age of fifteen.

I had to share a room with my brother before and I have to tell you that as a girl, that can be very horrible. So I mastered early rising and it stuck to me because if you want to get to the toilet without your brother barging in on you, you have to wake up early and shower and get dressed.

My brother is older and can be very immature sometimes. You might think that because he's older, he's a bit more mature and decent and he'd even take care of me but no, I'm blessed with a brother that doesn't know how to define maturity.

Unlike me, his room is very scattered and if mom and dad leaves the house, he scatters everywhere and throws large parties and he dates. That part he can't keep a secret from me. He's a polar opposite of me and I hate that he doesn't even know that I'm not extroverted or have this sanguine nature of his.

I'm a different person and I guess he's beginning to understand that slowly. Ever since he turned 19, I guess adulthood is beginning to step in especially since he had been rejected admission into college twice and when he finally got accepted, my parents weren't as happy as we both were.

My parents can be like that. If you fail on the first try, then the second doesn't matter whether you succeed or not. That's why I'm trying to succeed in my studies especially this trying year.

Senior year. I dreaded those two words cause I know that this is the year that most teenagers actually look forward to but I don't.

Apart from the fact that I'm an introvert and I don't have friends because I think almost all my school mates are not trustworthy, this year is awful because it's when my school decides to do that social year.

A period when you would have to pick someone who would say something about you either positive or negative. Someone that you have to get close to. And I don't have anyone like that.

The only people I once considered as my best friends left me cause I think I did what I always do to people, bore them out. I always wait for that moment.

The moment when everyone would get tired of my troubles and leave me. It's sad but it's true. I think the only person that can still tolerate me at this point, surprisingly, is my brother. He does that in his own annoying and weird way. He'd have been my best friend if I was into keeping friends and if he could relate when I talk to him.

Although, I think he understands a little because he's the only person that has recommended that I see a therapist which you would agree with me is a waste of time because I hate when people ask me the question: who are you?

This is because there is no answer to that question yet. Who a person is, is mostly dependent on the environment one finds him/herself.

I scramble out of bed and for once in my life, I wish I could crawl back in. I hate today to the point that I woke up late. I should be happy. Today is that day that I usually count as my social day. The first day of school.

A new dawn, a new beginning. Today is the first day of school after the holidays, the day that many people would talk to me and recognize that I exist. They would surely say hi to me today. Not that I crave any attention but it feels good to be noticed once in a while even if it's just for a day.

I usually like today except for the fact that it's senior year and that comes with drama. It comes with a lot of decisions to make.

I'm about to get up when my door is opened without caution and you don't need to guess who it is that would scare and frighten me this morning, it's my brother.