Susan in Wonderland

Nicole

I should start writing in this diary with some intro to my family. We all are Catholic and go to church at St.Andrew's every Sunday.

My sister is a more religious one than I am. Both my brother and she go to a religious high school called The Partake School.

There was no way I was going to go there.

I had been looking forward to going to Northview High School since Day 1 in Kindergarten.

Everyone's older brothers and sisters went there.

I was also influenced to go to Northview by my friend Caroline's mother who went to there lol in the 70's.

She was more my mother than mine would ever be. Her opinion would always count.

I was good friends with Susan Mason and Caroline Livingston since the 2nd to 5th grade.

I was once friends with Elena Thurgood but that was short lived.

Susan stopped hanging out with me when she was jealous of the friendship Caroline and I had. Caroline went to The Partake School in 4th grade I didn't have any other friend but Caroline for a long time.

Religion was inevitable!

My mom believed I was crazy to think I would be fine at Northview.

My Confirmation Day came and Henry made sure to snicker at my purple dress with a pink ribbon.

Taylor said she was so proud of me! She's more annoying than mom. Always concerned with doing the right thing, she makes me so sick sometimes.

There was only one other friend I have besides Caroline. She liked Justin as well.

All these years, Elena and I have shared such an indescribable enmity. She hated me for befriending Justin and eventually becoming his girlfriend.

"She's such a Drama Queen!" laughs Henry.

"Have I ever told you I think Taylor likes me?" asks Justin.

I looked up to the sky. It was misty and cold. Winter was coming.

"Would you like a coat?" he offered.

I smirked at him and he laughed.

"No, but I always assumed she did" she answered.

"Will you ever like anybody?" he jokingly asked.

"Nonsense! I am a free bird!!!!"I yelled.

Little did I know at the time how soon that would change.

...

Every night I have intense dreams. They are so vivid that I can't put a name to them.

Sometimes, I see a rabbit in a waistcoat, and I'm chasing him down a very large dark hole within the woods.

The trees seem to transform around me, a tunnel of some sorts, until I get to the other side. There, I see a tall girl with black hair staring back at me, whom I recognize as an older version of Caroline.

"Can't you see how much you let him control you?"

I turn around to see my brother Henry walking around with big tyrannical feet - spurs littering either side of his boot, walking on every village and neighborhood with careless force.

"You cannot let masculinity run rampant" says the dark haired boy that now appears. Whomever he is, he is far more beautiful than anyone I had ever seen before - like a demon who was once a prince.

"You cannot let this masculinity run wild. Long ago, the planet was ravaged by its male energy, taking it far away from it's feminine polarity. If Zaffaria goes, it will start an imbalance that will ripple through all worlds at all time."

"What is your name?" I ask.

"My name doesn't matter. You are the only monarch who's name does at this very moment - Queen Nicole" he says, eyes reverent. "It is very good to meet you."

...

Upon waking from this dream, I didn't know where to put it. Like every other dream I have, I have no one to share it too - not my siblings nor my parents (who don't believe in these mystical sort of things.) So I go online and start playing dungeons and dragons again. I transform to "Queen Nicole" - massive strategic head of dungeons and dragons games,  always aimed for the kill.

It was too my great surprise that Justin was playing these games too, but conveniently whichever one I was on. When he finally figured out my username, he said "The way you behave in role play is far different than how you behave in real life."

"How so?" I asked.

He laughed and said, "You are always directing people around, going in for strategic surprises that end up shocking everyone. You're brutal."

Right there and then, he kissed me. It seemed so messed up, but so right too. From that moment on, everyone knew of us as a couple - that always fought on opposing sides of the battle field, sending words of admiration to each other, driving other players insane. It works every time.