𝐄𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮

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𝐄𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮
𝖠𝗅𝖾𝗑𝗂𝖺 𝖯𝗎𝗍𝖾llas
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: allusion to smut, swearing, angst
(Let me know if i should make a Part 2) you guys get to see before my tumblr 🫣!!

The lonesome and cold nights you spend with your harmful thoughts. overthinking, grieving has been playing a big factor at night it was taking over you. You've been doing this all 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞. You haven't seen Alexia in days except when she comes home 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 nights.
  You simply though you just weren't 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 enough for her, maybe that's why she can't stand to be with you throughout the day, maybe she just was tired of you that's why she wasn't in you guys shared bed when it was night time in Barcelona. The usual strong tan arms that wrapped around you at night aren't there, it's rather replaced with a cold presence.

Maybe Alexia just didn't love 𝐲𝐨𝐮 anymore, maybe she loves someone else..

You yearned for her everyday every night, when she would come home she wouldn't even sleep beside you, she sleeps on the couch and treats you like you're a stranger..you couldn't take her cold shoulder you had to find out what you've could've done that's made her so distance.
  As you tossed and turned from each side of the bed trying to find comfort anywhere you could, struggling to find sleep deep in your thoughts. You heard the front door of your apartment open as you heard faint footsteps with a un patterned rhythm on the carpet floor of your flat. You heard a couple things knocking down glass clashing plants falling. You heard the voice of the blonde haired woman say a whisper hushed "𝐌𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐚" as she knocked things down on the floor, you slowly got out of bed trying to be gentle.
  "𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐚 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮?" you said with a shaky curiosity in your voice, "𝐦𝐦 𝐲/𝐧 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐠𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩" she said with a snappy in a tone, she sounded a little tipsy her stance wasn't her usual straight posture, she seemed to be stumbling a little. you said in concern "𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧? 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤" you said in a harsh tone wanting to know where she's been. This isn't like Alexia at all to drink during season, this made it more suspicious of her. Who could she possibly going out with it and getting drunk with.
   "𝐀𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐢'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝" you said something for the second time. "𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟" she said in a harsh manner. The blonde haired girl was annoyed with you, she was fed up that's why she hasn't been coming home that's why she's been entertaining other things. "𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐢'𝐦 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝" you said in a sad tone to show how upset you were with how she was treating you. This wasn't the loving, thoughtful, confident alexia you know. "𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐢-𝐢'𝐦 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐢?" she said stumbling over her words in a drunk daze.
  "𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞? 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢'𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐞 !" you said in a snappy voice. "𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡". she said as she raised her voice making you flinch back. "𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬? 𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐢'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞" you said as your chest started to huff up and down and your heart was beating fast from the adrenaline rush and the yelling coming from the tanned women. "𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡, 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐝" Ale said rolling her eyes as she started to make herself comfortable on the couch, rubbing her hand on her forehead in pain. "𝐍𝐨 𝐀𝐥𝐞 𝐢 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞" as tears started to well in your eyes as you tried to steady your breathing.
    "𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 ?" she said in a 'matter of fact' tone as she had a frown and her eyebrows knitting together you nod your head. "𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐮𝐬 !" she said yelling now as she stood up to be facing you. You were lost for words your mouth left open a slight in shock your eyes widened as a tear slipped out of your eyes. You couldn't believe what you just heard.
    The girl you thought you had a future with the girl you thought you would have babies with and have a big huge wedding with, didn't love you anymore. You guys planned a future together all the thoughts you ever had far in your timeline consisted with Alexia in all of them no matter the situation.
   You had your hand over your mouth as you started to cry trying to hide your heavy breaths. The hurt you felt couldn't be explained..finding out the love of your life didn't love you anymore took a toll on you, finding out the worst thoughts you had at night about your love being true, crushed you.
   As you tried to gather up your words looking at Alexia who had a blank look on her face, "𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞? 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄!" you said raising your voice, you deserve answer she owes you this, for not telling you she felt out of love with you, for keeping something like this from you. She shook her head and scoffed "𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬" she said "𝐍𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬. 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 ?" you said in a angry tone, now you were mad..you were mad that Alexia thought she could just forget about a 2 year relationship you worked hard for.

  I can't believe she had the nerve to just come home whenever she wanted and yell at me and not know why she wasn't at home wise you've been left to worry.

  "𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐢'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞, 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞" she said in a guilty tone, she looked like a kid that got caught sticking her hands in the cookie jar and who's been scolded. You let out a scoff and sighed as you shook your head side to side looking away trying to grasp the right words. This made you sick 𝐬𝐡𝐞 made you sick, how could she do this to us ? how could she just throw something away for someone who didn't know her like i did, for someone who hasn't spent time with her and known her from her hard moments, you've been with her through everything epically when she tore her ACL.
   You let out a salty laugh "𝐒𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦? 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰?" you said in a menacing tone. Alexia sat on the couch and kept her head down in shame. "𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝟐 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮" You were beyond done, you surprised you that she could go so low. You were disgusted, there's nothing you hate more than a cheater. You felt numb all your deepest horrors coming true right before your eyes.."𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐮𝐡?" she still kept her head low.
  "𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬" as you let out a bitter laugh as you loved your feet quickly to the room, Ale thought you were going to sleep and maybe you guys could talk about it in the morning but you had other thoughts in mind. You were leaving you were going far away. You started to pack a bag getting clothes shoes anything that you would need. You grabbed your gear, things you would need for sure. as you zipped everything up you were looking around the room to make sure you didn't forget anything
  As you looked around you spotted the framed picture of you and Alexia you took a year ago after a match you just won, beaming smiles on both of you guys faces that day you guys tasted good victory that day. Looking back you wouldn't expect for something like what happened today happen. You guys thought you would be together forever.
    You snapped out of your daydream and grabbed your bag took your phone off the charger and opened the door walking out leaving hastily. Alexia heard all the news and sat up wondering what you were doing she saw you  with a big duffel bag and She started to freak out  "𝐲/𝐧" she said "𝐲/𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 ?" i didn't make a effort to answer her, the audacity that she wants answer from me ? she's wondering where i'm going after the scene she just caused? After she threw out relationship away "𝐘/𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞 ?!" the catalan woman said persistent tone looking for a answer. "𝐈'𝐦 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐚 𝐢'𝐦 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐰𝐧" you said in a monotone voice. "𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲?!?" she said raising her voice, sounding nervous and scared that the "love of her life" was leaving.
  "𝐈'𝐦 𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲, 𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧" you said as you held onto the front door back faced towards her. Alexia started to protest and pled asking for forgiveness, you ignored her pleading cries and left as you slammed the front door you were left her loud sobs
  You grabbed your phone and dialed a number "𝐇𝐞𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐩𝐢 𝐢 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰" you said as you walked to your car "𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐲/𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲 ?" Mapi said in a concerned tone as you got inside your car throwing your bag to the back "𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐩𝐬" you said in choked up sobs. Making your way to Mapi's house. You were heart broken..

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