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THIRD PERSON'S POV
"So you wanna talk about it?" Booker asked.
The question he'd been asking nonstop since he and Tess had ditched school, left the mall, were on the subway, and back at the apartments.
"What is there to talk about, B? She hates me" Tess replied as her eyes were glued to the movie that they had been watching. "She doesn't hate you, Tess" Booker says before stuffing his mouth with popcorn. "No, she does!" Tess nods, turning her head to Booker. "You didn't see the way she was looking at me or- or the hear how hurt she was!".
"She wants nothing to do with me anymore" Tess heart aches as the words leave her mouth.
She didn't want to accept it, but it was the truth.
"I can't do anything right by her" Tess propped her legs on the couch with the free space that was left and pulled her knees to her chest.
"Tess..." Booker sighs as he pauses the movie with the remote to fully engage in the conversation with the brunette. "Everything I do is for us, and I just have to mess it up by doing something stupid" Tess picks at her jeans and rests her chin on her knees. She felt pathetic.
"Are you about to—?".
Tess glared at him through her teary eyes. Booker held his hands up and backed off the question. Crying about the situation wasn't going to help in any way yet here she was, crying. It wasn't even something that Booker knew Tess could do. She is always strong, especially in the friend group, and never really expresses that vulnerable side of herself.
Tess felt like sharing her emotions was always risky, a weak spot for everyone to see.
Fearing the judgment of others. Maybe it is when you're with the wrong people. But she wasn't. Tess had Booker by her side. She always felt the safe space aura when she was with him. He was a true best friend.
Nothing could change that.
"I- I always say the wrong things or go to your sister for something and I end up making Essie feel like she's not worth my time when she is!" Tess rants. "Maybe we should be just friends" She sighed, wiping her tears away with her sleeve. "She already doesn't believe me about Nia and me".
"Can you blame her?" Booker mumbled to himself, scoffing with a brief raise of his brows before eating more popcorn.
"Excuse me?" Tess questions his choice of words and his tone.
Booker shrugs, swallowing the rest of his popcorn, and presses his lips together. "I'm saying that you and Nia have been best friends since we were nine". "A relationship like that isn't easy to let go of. Especially when love gets involved" Booker says. "I'm not in love with your sister" Tess clarified. "Not anymore" Booker points to her.
"You guys have been through a lot together," He continues; "But I see the way that you look at Mae...".
"Esme's trust in you is so low because the previous situations with Nia made things complicated for her to be able to create one with you".
Booker began to list almost everything that went wrong with Esme's relationship with Tess. "Bailing on your first date to help Nia" He says. "The party where something happened with you and Nia!" Booker continued. "You guys ruined her sketchbook, and almost ruined her chances at being on the cheer team".
"Your whole argument about Fallon Cameron, and now you were on the Rooftop with Nia and almost kissed!?" Booker finished with a slight loss of his breath.
"That's at least six different situations that have happened in the course of you trying to start a relationship with Mae" He states.
"You do realize the repeating problem with this, don't you?" Booker asked Tess. She had been either listening or had been thinking of a plan to hurt Booker for pointing out the obvious once again. "Of course, I realize it!" Tess spats. "She's gotten to a point where- where she doesn't trust in my intentions" Tess sniffles.
She tried to keep herself from crying her eyes out in the moment. "What were your intentions, Tess?" Booker asked. The question alone made Tess's heart sink. It wasn't for a bad reason, but the question made her feel hollow. Her intentions were nothing but the truth and Booker knew that.
Tess looks into Booker's eyes and responds; "My intentions are real, Booker."
Maybe it was her thought process after hearing Booker's question and the way he spoke with some of his words. Tess had the feeling that he was upset with her for hurting Esme like she had been doing. She understood why he would feel that way. It's excepted, but she didn't want him to be mad at her. She didn't want Esme to be mad at her.
Tess didn't want anyone to be mad at her. "I want her to be happy" The girl continued. "I want to be her girlfriend and to make her happy at all costs" She said. "When I first met her... it was so chaotic" Tess smiled to herself.
"Packed boxes falling from the staircase and she had yelled at me 'cause she didn't want my help".
"It's just... when I'm with her and when I see her— everything isn't so chaotic anymore, you know?" She says.
"I'm not worrying about how she'll judge me if I did this or that. If I needed someone to talk to she's there".
"I'm so lucky to have met her... I don't know how else to explain it" Tess blushed. "Essie's like a home to me" Saying that with soft eyes, Tess thought about her words. She truly felt that she didn't deserve Esme Reyes. "And if I'm not giving her that happiness she deserves and giving her the feeling that she gives me... then someone else will".
"It hurts to even think about honestly" Tess says. Tess gets up to grab her things and puts her shoes back on. Still, feeling the weight of Booker's questions towering over her, she wanted space. "You know what? I should just leave" She gulped. "Seriously?" Booker questions.
"Seriously, yes" Tess huffs, finally placing on her second shoe.
"Did I say something?" He asked. "Nah" Tess shakes her head, waves him off, and walks to the door. Stopping herself from opening it, she sighs and looks back at Booker. "I know it might not seem like it, but hurting Esme was never my intention" Tess said. "And it never will be, Booker" She added before leaving the apartment.
"So I did say something..." Booker says to himself, feeling bad.
