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I FEEL LIKE a shooting star

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I FEEL LIKE a shooting star. Like I'm just passing by, eventually bound to blow up. From a distance, there pretty to look at; they shine brightly, sparkling against the dark night sky, when in reality, what people don't see is that it's just one big ball of dust, rocks and all the other unwanted debris from space.

We watch shooting stars fly by, there nice in the moment, but gone far to early and forgotten about soon after.

I'm awfully scared that'll be me. Gone and forgotten about.

But there's nothing I can do about it now. Not while I'm sitting on the ledge of a building watching them fly by while my soon to be killer stands in the shadows, watching me.

All I can do is make an effort to remember each star that passes by in the short time I have left; just like I hope someone will do for me.

Micah might remember me, but he won't miss me. We're barely friends.

Dad might miss me, but he won't remember me.
He'll miss his bills being payed.

Nisha might remember me for a while, but she won't miss me.
She's been helping Killian from the start.

And that's it. No one else will bat an eye when I inevitably disappear.

My life is bound to end soon. I'm starting to think that god just really doesn't want me around anymore.

As I sit here, watching the meteor shower, I can't help but feel a little bit relieved.

The internal battle about my cancer has been the hardest one I've ever had to face, and now, I won't have to suffer. Not through my illness and not through my own thoughts.

Everything will just stop.

I hope I turn into one of them— the shooting stars I mean. There so beautiful, at least someone other than Killian will get some joy from my passing.

I like to think I will, but the truth is I have no clue and it won't really matter once I'm gone. The world will be the same, and the start will continue to shine.

I sit in silence for a while, enjoying my last few moments of life.

I'm the one to break the silence, "you can come out now." I say softly, "I'm ready." Despite believing my own words, my voice brakes.

It was silent for a while, "I said I'm ready. Just do it."

The silence resonated for a few seconds before I heard the padding of feet behind me. I sighed, closing my eyes, as I half expected him to just push me off the roof. But Killian is classier than that.

I felt his presence loom over me as I forced myself to accept my demise. A single tear slide through my closed eyelids but I brushed it away.

I turned to look at him, and there he stood. A few feet behind me, his tall, broad frame towered over my sitting form.

LaceyWhere stories live. Discover now