Woo Me, Wooyoung ~ WooLix

~ Chapter 7 ~

Felix

It was dark here. Dark and blessedly quiet. So quiet that my ragged breathing filled my ears. My rapid heartbeat sounded like it was being broadcast from the very walls around me.

At least the blanket over my head muffled it a bit. But only a bit.

I had left the dog café half an hour ago, running as if the hounds of hell were on my tail. Running as though my life depended on it. And maybe it did. I had run away because a demon had suddenly appeared in front of me; the very demon that had haunted me for months. It had been lurking in the back of my mind ever since I'd locked myself away from the world and forsworn any kind of relationship with another person, no matter how small and unimportant.

Up until a week ago, I couldn't even talk to the cashier at the local mini-mart, or chat to my next-door neighbour while waiting for the lift. Losing the person I was closest to had ripped my heart wide open, and any time I so much as considered letting another person into my life, even if only for a minute, the pain became too great. I would run to the safety of my bedroom, building myself a pillow and blanket fort and hiding inside it for hours, until my heart stopped racing and my breathing went back to normal.

That was a daily occurrence for me for three months. Then, the one person I still trusted had managed to break through the walls I'd built around me, and finally brought some hope back into my life. Jisung helped me see that I couldn't live like that forever, that I had to be brave and venture out into the world, even with my heart in my hands.

Going back to the dog café had been one of the scariest things I'd ever done, but at the end of the day, it was definitely worth it. Not only had I been re-acquainted with the puppy from my last visit, but I'd met Wooyoung, the kindest, gentlest human being I'd ever laid my eyes on.

He saw my bleeding heart and, instead of turning away or making fun of me, he came closer, taking my heart out of my hands and holding it in his own, cradling it so gently and warmly that I forgot to panic; I just stopped and stared in wonder.

From that day on, I hadn't built a pillow and blanket fort once; I didn't need to.

Until today.

Today, the demon reared its ugly head again, this time taking the form of the person who had slipped inside my heart without me even realising it. While I'd been keeping watch at the front door of my heart, Wooyoung had slipped in through the back, making himself at home, and even keeping watch by my side. I'd only known him for a week, but it had been my best week for a long time, and I now felt like my heart was in good hands.

When Wooyoung asked me out to dinner, I should have been happy. I should have been bursting at the seams with excitement. But when I looked at him, I didn't see the gentle face I'd grown attached to, but rather the face of my inner demon, grotesque and horrifying, making my blood run cold. I was more shocked than anyone to see the demon I thought had vanished for good. I was paralysed with fear and couldn't tear my eyes away, no matter how much I wanted to.

When I heard my name, though, in Wooyoung's soft voice, I snapped back to reality. I saw his beautiful face for a second, twisted in worry and confusion, and my heart broke. But then the demon was back, more menacing than ever, and I knew I couldn't stay a moment longer.

Part of my mind knew that Wooyoung was still there, so I forced out an apology; then I turned and ran, not daring to look back to see if the demon was following me. I ran and ran and ran, til I was inside my apartment.

Then I shut myself in my bedroom and quickly gathered all my blankets and pillows on my bed, my hands working on autopilot, since I'd done this every day for months. When the fort was finished, I flung myself inside it, cowering beneath the blanket, willing the void to take me.

Half an hour later, or thereabouts, my heartbeat was still ringing in my ears, and the sound of my breathing still bounced around the walls; but I was slowly feeling better.

After a while, I was capable of coherent thought once again. I realised that the demon was no more than a figment of my imagination, a visual representation of my fear of relationships. But as soon as I thought of Wooyoung and remembered his look of pain and confusion, my heart broke all over again and I dissolved into sobs.

What had I done?? What would Wooyoung think of me now? Had I ruined everything and lost every single thing I'd gained in the past week, in one fell swoop?

A small part of me wanted to run back to the café and beg for Wooyoung's forgiveness; to ask him to pretend the whole thing hadn't happened, and to ask his question again.

But the other part of me - the biggest part, by far - knew I couldn't do that. Even if Wooyoung was willing to forgive and forget, there was still a gigantic problem, and it wasn't about to go away. I wasn't ready.

The thought of starting a relationship, of opening my heart completely to one person, and putting all my trust in him; that seemed too much. Being in any kind of relationship with someone meant there was a chance that things could go wrong; that I could get my heart broken, or I could lose them, like I'd lost my mum. I didn't want to go through that again.

So I was caught between a rock and a hard place. Wanting to run back to the café, but being afraid to move. Wanting to be with Wooyoung, but too scared to take the next step.

Tears coursing down my cheeks like a waterfall, I curled up under the blanket, praying that when I opened my eyes, things would magically be better. Eventually, I fell into an exhausted sleep, finally getting the rest my mind and body craved.

☆☆☆☆☆

Later that night, I woke to a very empty feeling in my stomach, so I crawled out of bed and went to make myself some ramen. After I'd finished eating, I returned to my bedroom and sleepily pushed all the pillows and blankets off my bed, letting them pile up on the floor. I'll deal with them in the morning, I thought drowsily. I slid under the doona and just lay staring at the ceiling for a long time, thoughts swirling around in my head.

I must have nodded off at some point, because the next thing I knew, I was being woken by the 'ding' of my phone's notification, sounding over and over again. Groaning, I pulled the doona over my head to try to shut out the noise. Fortunately, it stopped after a minute, and I drifted back to sleep.

Not long after, though, I was jolted awake when my phone started ringing. "Why??" I wailed. "Just let me sleep!"

I pulled my pillow over my head and squeezed my eyes shut, willing whoever was calling to give up. They must have let the phone ring out, because it seemed to go on forever. When it finally stopped, the silence was so deafening, I nearly wished my phone would start ringing again. But I shook my head, telling myself that was silly, and tried to go back to sleep.

A short while later, just as I was drifting off again, I heard a knocking on the front door, which quickly turned into banging.

"FELIX??"

The voice that called out was muffled through several doors, so I couldn't tell who it was. But I really didn't care.

"Go away and let me die in peace!" I called back, my voice hoarse from all the crying I'd done the night before.

After that, there was silence again for a few minutes, and I smiled to myself, thinking whoever it was had got the message and left. I took the pillow off my head, putting it back in its proper place, and folded the doona back down, enjoying the fresh air on my face. Then I wriggled around, getting myself completely comfortable, before letting my head sink down into the pillow. Sighing deeply, I let my mind drift...

But just as I was succumbing to sleep once more, my bedroom door burst open. Moving on pure instinct, I pulled the doona over my head, huddling into a tight ball. I held my breath, my mind jumping to all sorts of terrifying conclusions about who might be in my room right now.

But my imaginings were cut short when I heard a sharp gasp. I peeked out from under the doona, and the first thing I saw was my blue-haired best friend standing in the doorway, worry plastered across his face like a neon sign.

"Sung?!"

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Oh no, poor Felix! Please click on the vote button below to send him some support. Thank you!