I will never go to Australia
I want to work, I want to move out, I want to succeed, more than anything. My will to get out of the toxic circle is bigger and stronger than anything else.
But somehow I can't do it.
I can't.
I will never go to Australia.
I will never succeed.
I will never get healed.
I will only fail.
Again.
And again.
And I have the audacity to attend my classes. To raise my hand. To try.
I have the audacity to tell myself "next time will do", I'll go next time, I will try harder next time.
But next time comes and it's still the same.
I want to die.
It seems like the only way to get out.
That or running. Going far away. Giving up.
I don't want to.
I have dreams, wishes, friends. I can't give that up. I don't want to.
But why is it so hard?
WHY
I WANT TO SCREAM
I WANT TO HURT MYSELF
I WANT TO END IT
END IT ALL
I WANT TO SURVIVE
I WANT TO MAKE IT
I WANT TO DO IT
I WANT TO KEEP HOPING
I NEED TO SCREAM
I WANT TO ACCEPT MY FLAWS
I WANT TO STOP TRYING TO BE PERFECT
I WANT TO STOP MEETING PEOPLES EXPECTATIONS
I WANT TO FIND MY EXPECTATIONS
I want to find myself.
I am lost.
I can't fulfil my dreams. I want to. I can't. I won't. And it's alright.
I wanna stop fighting myself. It's just too hard.
It's all a mess. It's a big, blurry cloud, and I can't see through. I can't see far.
Where am I going ?
Just let me go.
Let me rest.
Mia I'm sorry. I surrendered.
YOU ARE READING
⊱Rantbook⊱
RandomTranslation in process... I dedicate this to Jeanne, without whom I would have never had to create this. 𝐩𝐫𝐞́𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚̀ 𝐥𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫.
