The Super Kyman Project: Collection of Kyman Stories

6. Light my Candle Jew Boy

Word Count: 1743
ALL KYLE'S POV, PER SE!
Per se count:11

As the first candle burned sitting on the window sill in the front of the house, I sat there, on the stairs.

The room was filled with festive joy and the smell of all kinds of fried foods. Even with the aroma of all my favorite foods, I couldn't shake the feeling I had, per se.

As a kid, I used to love Hanukkah, but now it's just being forced to spend time with my sheep family while they BERATE me and SHAME me.

"Kyle, aren't you going to come down here and play dreidel?" My SHEEP mother asked,

I rolled my green orbs, "I am THINKING, 'Mother.'" Heh, she wouldn't understand the demons inside...

"Kyle, get down here NOW or just go straight to bed!" My bitchass mom screamed at me, her hebrew red locks bouncing as her head shook with jewish anger.

I smirked and gyatt up, walking to my room, ignoring her screams of discontent. Heh, what a rebel.

I gyatt a text from none other than fat tits, what the FREAK does he want.

Cartman 🐷: Joo! Whare the FREAK are u?? I thought we ware all gong to strark's ponde!

He's so fucking bad at spelling, per se

Jew 👨‍🦰: Shut up fatty I'm celebrating Hanukkah

Cartman 🐷: Heh have fun with ur dumb dradal 🤣

Jew 👨‍🦰: It's called a dreidel dumbass, and I will. Have fun on Christmas with your 2 presents and no dad, per se.

I really gyatt him there ha!!!

Hours passed by and the music died down, and it was clear my family had gone to sleep.

Regret filled me as I realized I spent the first night of hanukkah locked in my room. I wish I wasn't such an asshole sometimes.

I went downstairs to see the candle still burning, I guess it never burned out.

I grabbed a glass of water but something caught my eye, on my doorstep, I saw through the window something wrapped in a paper with little menorahs on it, what the fuck?

I opened the door, the cool air pouring into the house and extinguishing the candle.

I then took the package inside per se, and saw a little note attached to it?

Oh golly gee! What if it's a threat?! What if the package has a bomb!?

I started meowing RAPIDLY.
What ever it was I HAD to know! K-kya!

I opened the package FASTLY, trying to remember all the tutorials on how to disarm a bomb on Reddit.com, and gyatt ready for the worst.

But to my relief, and disappointment, it wasn't a bomb at all.... It was a dreidel...with hearts on it?

"K-kya? Who could have sent this to me? " I say outloud.

I really wanna know!

That's when I remembered there was a note attached to the package, per se the sender will be revealed, per se.
I picked up the note and read it in anticipation.

All it said was,
"frum, ur sacrete admerer"

After deciphering the horrendous spelling, I now know that.... I HAVE A SECRET ADMIRER? KYAAA~~!!

I couldn't believe my traffic light orbs! Who could my secret admirer be nya?!

Heh. I have a feeling this Hanukkah will be full of suprises, per se.