The Guy I Called My First Love

Chapter 16

My first heart break wasn't the time when my crushes rejected me for not being able to reciprocate their feelings. Not when I failed an exam because I didn't study. And of course not when I tripped over and became the laughing stock of everyone. 

My mother told me to study because knowledge is the only weapon that you can survive in this chaotic world. If you don't know anything, you will be in the bottom of the pyramid. Being rich is a given but what is the most important for her is knowledge.

You see, my mother wanted me to become the smartest kid in our family. Maybe because I am the youngest and I should take care of myself or maybe because I am a girl and there are times that I will be the most fragile amongst all people. 

I am always locked up inside my room, advance studying for my lessons and I did not have any time to play outside, or even make friends with kids around my age.

At a very young age, I learned how to fight. A simple punch in the face and a kick on the stomach. 

I weigh around 30 kilograms and a little taller than kids that time. Maybe because I took after the height of my mother or I am just lucky with my health that time. I am not the tallest girl when I grew older, I remained with the height of 5'6". 

Hindi kagaya ng nasa palabas sa telebisyon na kung saan hindi nila gusto ang pag papalaki sa kanila ng kanilang magulang ay nagpapasalamat pa ako dahil siya ang naging ina ko. Naramamdan ko yung pagmamahal niya sa akin hanggang sa nilisan niya ang mundong ito. 

Nang dahil pa sa akin kaya nawala siya. 

Nang dahil pa sa kabobohan ko na sana hindi ko na lang nilabanan ang mga batang iyon—edi buhay pa si Mama ngayon. Labis kong pinagsisihan ang nangyaring iyon kaya kahit anong mangyari ay nilalabanan ko pa rin ang galit ko. 

I won't let my anger consume me and that history repeats again.

My first heartbreak was the death of my mother. 

I was only 9 years old that time and what could a 9 years old do to her peers? 

Can a 9 year old kill another person?

No. 

And that was my mother believed. 

That she did not kill anybody and that my mother should take the punishment instead.

But after paying the punishment—she also paid the price on the purgatory.

I was just 9 year old that time when it was reported on the news that she was killed by the Father of the kid who was slain at the playground. 

My family did not condemned me but instead they believed that it happened of a reason. It was all destiny's work and Mama died not because in vain but it is also teaching me to be strong now that she's gone. 

"Rhys, anong ginagawa mo?" Napukaw ako sa kalabit ni kuya sa balikat ko at napakurap ako dahil nandito na pala ako sa labas ng bahay namin.

May dalawang bagahe sa harapan ko at kinuha ni kuya ang isa, may pasan din siyang duffel bag sa kanang balikat niya papunta sa taxi na tinawagan nila Papa kanina. Kuya's head tilted to the direction of the taxi when our eyes met and yelled, "Tara na!"

Napatango ako kahit medyo sumasakit pa yung ulo ko dahil sa byahe kanina tapos babyahe na naman ako. Sana lang hindi ako makakasuka nito sa sasakyan.

Kinaladkad ko kaagad yung bagahe na iniwan ni kuya saka pinasok sa trunk ng sasakyan na kung saan nandoon ang driver ng taxi, tinutulungan si kuya na maayos na mailagay ang mga bagahe namin. 

Medyo marami rin ito kaya nagtataka akong nagtanong kay Papa nang makapasok na kami sa taxi. "Pa, andami naman ata nating dala? Doon na po ba tayo titira?"