The Shadow Tide

CHAPTER 20 - Promise

Take a deep breath through your nose. Count to three. Exhale through your mouth.

These had been the palace doctor's instructions when Brethen went to him after three days of headaches, nausea, and dizziness. After ruling out the possibility of pregnancy – something Brethen had to repeat several times was not possible – the doctor concluded that it could only be something of emotional cause. The recent events, combined with the approaching of Arian's engagement... Brethen's emotions were unsettled, and her body was reacting. He recommended some calming teas, a tonic for the pain and some breathing exercises, and asked her to return in ten days if there were no improvements in the symptoms.

Take a deep breath through your nose. Count to three. Exhale through your mouth.

Brethen hadn't told Arian anything about her discomfort. He already had too much to worry about. The truth was that the symptoms had worsened since then and were becoming increasingly difficult to hide. It all started the day after dinner at Amina's apartment. Initiall she had blamed the wine, but when she didn't improve after a day – or two, or three – it became clear that the problem was something else.

Take a deep breath through your nose. Count to three. Exhale through your mouth.

With her head constantly throbbing, it was difficult to be fully present. Even now, sitting on the bench in front of the vanity while Sabina filled her hair with hairpins, Brethen felt disconnected from everything. And the tugs on her hair didn't help.

"Stay still, Lady Brethen," Sabina asked for the third time, "you don't want your hair to be crooked."

Brethen rarely wore hairstyles. She had cut her hair shoulder-length precisely for practicality in daily life. But on special occasions, Sabina insisted on doing something different. And no date seemed more special than Arian's engagement.

Instead of the uniform she wore every day, Brethen wore the ceremonial gown: a long black jacket embroidered with golden threads, well-fitted and reaching down to her knees. The dark red pants, usually snug to fit into boots, were replaced by a piece that was almost an optical illusion, as it looked like a skirt when Brethen closed her legs but was actually loose trousers made of fluid fabric. The belt with the sword was there, as always, but the everyday blade was also replaced by a more adorned one, with the handle encrusted with jewels.

Sabina had added some color to Brethen's lips and cheeks, outlined her eyes, and curled her lashes. The chosen hairstyle for that night was a crown of braids with a few loose strands near the face and ears, which were also adorned with a pair of ruby earrings. It was the closest Brethen had ever been to looking like a real lady.

Take a deep breath through your nose. Count to three. Exhale through your mouth.

"Lady Brethen," Sabina's voice was gentle this time, "are you okay?"

"Just a headache," Brethen said, eyes closed.

"You should have told me before I did the hairstyle. Do you want me to get some medicine?"

"There's a bottle on my bedside table. Would you put five drops in a glass of water for me, please?"

The bottle contained a mild analgesic prescribed by the doctor. It didn't solve the problem, but it brought some relief. Brethen would need something much stronger to truly alleviate the pain, but such medication would also make her drowsy and completely unable to do her job.

Brethen took the medicine and looked at herself in the mirror, trying not to focus on the hairstyle, makeup, or jewelry. She paid attention to her own face, to the expression of pain that threatened to peak through her mask o calm and poise.