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𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧
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It felt like you had been punched in your guts. You didn't know how to feel. Sad, angry, maybe even happy. This was your chance. You could finally be with Kurapika after all these years. He's not married anymore. He wants to see you. Maybe not to start anything, but he wants to see you.
But what about Azami?
Didn't you tell yourself you were going to focus on him? That Kurapika was in the past? That Azami mattered right now?
Your limbs feel heavy and your mind feels fuzzy.
Your heart hurts for yourself and Azami. You weren't meant to be with Kurapika, but why must your heart always feel drawn to him? You wished you could move on, leave your feelings behind and start a happy life with Azami, but a part of you always wished you'd end up with the guy you had been in love with for all these years.
It was like, no matter what you did, Kurapika would always be in the back of your mind. Like a small voice, keeping you in his grip, without him even meaning to. Kurapika wanted you to be happy, you wanted him to be happy, and both of you knew that was not with each other.
It hurts to be something, it's worse to be nothing with you.
You knew you had to cut it off. You knew you had to meet up with Kurapika, or maybe even call him, and tell him it was over. Tell him that nothing was ever going to form between the two of you. But for some reason, you couldn't. Your heart couldn't cut the ties. Even though you knew you and him would never last, your relationship would never be normal, you still couldn't let go of him. the memories, the love you two once shared. Once. Such a long time ago.
All you had to do was say those two little words, and you'd be freed. ''It's over.'' Why did it have to be so hard? It was like you were depriving yourself of happiness. Of love. True love. Riskless love.
But what if you regret it in the end? What if you had wished you had stayed? What if you had wished you had never told him to let you go? You knew it was now or never. If you cut ties now, it would be over forever. Until death. You'd never have a chance with him again.
