Living in Non-Existence

Ch.4 Leaving it Behind

Waking up was a new experience in itself. I had never woken up so extremely satisfied that I had gotten a goodnight's rest. The curtains could not hide the sun's rays as they illuminated the day so I did the only thing that made sense, I stood up and walked outside. Not only did I forget that I was wearing really short pajama shorts and too loose a crop top, I also forgot that there could be people on the beach. And there were. Lots of them.

No one seemed to notice that I had walked out of the house so I went back inside before they could.

Showering allowed me to relax, wash away the city vibe and shrug into the beach's appeal. The shampoo on my straight brown hair felt somehow better and smelt even crisper than it had at home. The water wasn't ferociously pecking at my skin, rather raining down on me with the soothing properties only felt in my dreams. I bathed and changed with a serenity unbeknownst to me.

No parties, I thought as I pulled on my bra and panties. No endless rants about what someone had just bought, I realized as my baggy tank was pulled over my head. No more lame excuses to get out of reunions, I thought as I wiggled on my short jean shorts. And finally, no more pretending that I was happy when I was living in hell, I admitted to myself as my hair was pulled into a messy ponytail and my feet slipped into my sandals.

But I couldn't start exploring this town and become a new me if I couldn't even fully wake up so coffee was a must. I grabbed my favorite faux leather purse, grabbed the car and house keys, slowing only for a second to lock the door.

I found the exact place I was looking for without even knowing it. It was surrounded by the same shaped buildings right next to it, all white. But this one stood out. This was the only one with a sign of a steaming coffee mug.

I breathed in the heavenly smell as I walked in. I matched almost everyone inside, even the barista. The girls with their tiny shorts and shirts, but their hair was perfection. I laughed at the idea of me ever doing that here. I saw more than a few glares my way from the bleached blondes, but I just lifted my glasses onto my head and approached the counter.

"Hi, can I take your order," the preppy brunette chirped from behind the counter. "Yeah, just an iced caramel macchiato would be perfect," I smiled at her handing her my card and walking to the other side to grab my drink.

As I was walking out I felt a sharp bump against my shoulder. Yes, that is the most cliche moment of a movie. But that was just my luck because not only was it a boy, it was Marc.

He was absolutely ecstatic as he looked into my eyes and realized who I was. "Hi," he laughed catching my shoulder before I fell over, "I'm glad I could bump into you again," I had no idea if the pun was intended or not but it was cute. He was cute.

With the sun completely above us, the light of day only did him wonders it made him the type of gorgeous you couldn't possibly fathom. His hair curled into perfect beach waves, the smile he offered me was all too perfect and his eyes squinted down at me with jovial awareness of who I was. He was extremely cute.

"Marc, right?" I asked even though I clearly knew that was his name.

"Yeah! I'm glad you remember, guess that means you didn't meet someone else that made you forget all about me." I could not help it, a full laugh escaped my mouth, the kind that you don't expect because for so long it was easier to keep it in than being judged for letting it out.

"You have a nice laugh," he said still squinting his brown eyes at me. Oh boy, I was a goner. Any boy with brown eyes had been my weak spot. Maybe it was because there was this little sparkle that's more clearly seen with brown eyed people or because they just seemed a little more comforting, but I just knew that at any minute my heart would skip a beat and I would falter in any comprehensive wording.

"No, no, I really don't but thanks," I cleared my throat, already feeling heat slowly crawling up my neck. "Okay, yeah, um great to see you again," I waved slightly turning my back to him walking away, pulling my aviator sunglasses back over my eyes. His gaze was still on me, I could feel it burning into the back of my head and that's when I realized. My car was in the opposite direction. The way where Marc was standing.

I stopped walking looking up at the sky internally laughing, this is great. I turned on my heel, plastering a smile onto my face.

Marc beamed, he was talking to another boy now, but he was facing the direction where I was walking back from. "Did you forget something?" He raised an eyebrow, smirking. This was great. Not only did I have to turn around and walk back in that direction, I also had to tell him what happened.

"Yeah, that my car is over there," I said pointing to my black Jeep, the car keys jingling in my coffee holding hand. His eyes lit up as he marveled at it, a small gap appearing between his lips.

"That is not your car," he walked closer to it, forgetting that his friend was still there. I smiled apologetically, nervous habit.

"Is there a problem with it?" I asked. I had no idea how this whole car thing worked for guys. Maybe he liked, maybe he hated it. But yeah, it was my car and yeah, I loved it. It was a steady ride that made me feel safe and stable and free, unlike any other car that I owned.

He walked around the whole car once. Inspecting every inch of it, the top, bottom and inside. What was his problem with it?

"Last night I saw this car when I was with my friends," he said it nonchalantly, not meeting my gaze. "I saw the most beautiful girl driving it," his eyes suddenly shot up to mine. His eyes registered what he had just said and widened. He backed away from the it, letting me inside to the driver side.

My heart was not only skipping a beat, it was fluttering like a bee when it finds the yellow sweet scent of a flower. Every word that he uttered and every awkward glance up into my eyes and then back at the ground made me blush a bright pink.

"I am so sorry, that's not what I," he stuttered before recanting, "no, that is what I meant," he reached out grasping at the air between us, "I just didn't think you were the same girl from the beach house." Clearly. His brown eyes bore into my green ones. I was still trying to comprehend this interaction. Was I supposed to respond or just watch him take his foot out of his mouth?

I had no idea so I just sat with my legs hanging out the side of my car. He was adorable as he finally decided that he could formulate no words to explain what he meant.

"Thanks, Marc," I swung my legs inside, starting the car. "See you around, I guess." I hoped that was the right thing to say.

Marc backed up to the sidewalk as I closed my door, rolling down my window. My car was backing up when Marc called out, "you should come to the beach today. Around 5? Front of your house!" I crinkled my eyebrows, sticking out my head, "why?"

Marc just smiled, that beautiful golden-boy smile. It was something that you could only read about in books and see in movies. These boys should not be able to exist, I thought. Marc's smile was already playing on my heart strings like a Spanish guitarist, I don't think I can hold on much longer. I tried asking him again but he winked and motioned for me to back up.

My heart was beating like the flutter of a hummingbird's wings, my cheeks flushing red like a tomato and my stomach fluttering with the feeling of butterflies I had only heard of.

To be the new me I would do what he said.

Hello, sunset, almost the only time of day that I was never out. The thought of the sun and moon seeing me at the same time was a ghastly thought, one knew my happiness and the other my sadness but they both knew my pain. But this was going to happen, the only thing was wondering if it would be a good or bad thing.

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My beautiful readers, you, yes you. I am so sorry that this is my first author's note. But I just needed to take this time to tell you how much I appreciate you all reading this. Every comment helps so please tell me everything!

I love you all, thanks for making my dreams of writing for a public possible. You're all beautiful, amazing people, keep reading and living life.

XOXO
Kassie