Living in Non-Existence

Ch.5 Setting Suns and Freeing Laughs

The day passed in a snail-like pace. I had to admit, I was excited to see what Marc had planned.

Mind you, I had no idea who this kid was. I just knew that he was gorgeous and his name was Marc. I also knew that with every second I stared into his eyes my mind scrambled into oblivion.

So, yeah, I was excited.

There it was five o'clock! I tried not to seem too eager walking out onto my porch. Sure enough, Marc was there. I could only see his back, sitting on the sand facing the ocean, it almost seemed that his body moved with the motion of every wave. The muscles through his grey shirt clearly visible, his arms strong and tan, holding his body up.

I took a breath. Then another, walking down the few stairs.

He didn't jump when I tapped him on the shoulder but turned his head up. The corners of his mouth lifted into his boyish smile.

As far as I knew, there was no one I had ever met with a more sincere smile. With it on his face, he could be telling me the most appalling lie and I wouldn't hear, it was that mesmerizing.

Marc stood up, his beach tanned legs supporting his body below him. He now towered over me, by probably a solid six inches. His muscular arm reached out to hug me. When we broke apart he was still smiling down at me, silence floating between us, the ocean singing its song of welcome.

"So what is it you wanted me to see?" I asked him when the silence grew unbearable for me. Marc turned away motioning for me to walk with him.

"You're a city girl that never comes to her beach house, which means you missed out on a lot of sunsets." I stammered trying to prove that I had seen sunsets, that one was pretty much the same as all the rest. He was insulted.

"Now I know you haven't seen a real sunset," he said dragging me down to the sand with him. We stared off into the great beyond of sea and sky before Marc turned to me again. His hands found their way to the sides of my face, my green eyes widening in panic behind my sunglasses. I didn't push him away, feeling like I was in a straitjacket.

He pushed my sunglasses onto my head and leaned in close, "you can't watch the most amazing sunset with sunglasses on," he chuckled to himself before sitting comfortably next to me. I was stunned, my cheeks a crimson red, my eyes burning with wonder, my mouth dry from expectation.

Half an hour later I saw exactly what Marc was talking about. The sky danced in every rainbow color, no clouds in sight. The sun waved its last goodbye as it disappeared beyond the horizon, the moon and stars smiling as they became the center of focus.

My mind soared with the memory of that half hour sunset, of the beauty I had just witnessed. No, not every sunset was like the others, I thought as a tear escaped my eye.

Marc turned around elated with his brilliant idea. His face contorted in concern as he saw the salty tear roll down my cheek, down my neck, before abruptly stopping. His hands flung up with care, his body moving in front of mine. "Antoinette, are you okay?" Marc was panicking, I could tell from the tremor in his voice, the want to comfort me, the need to try to be closer.

"That was the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen. It was so simple but it was such a gift. Thank you." I told him.

I meant it, no one had ever taken the time to simply show me the beauty of existence. No one had ever shown me that in a world so large, to planets so far out of reach, that I was there to see everything.

"Wow, first date and you're already crying. That's not good," Marc winked at me, his hand wrapping around mine, setting them on the sand.

"This was a date?" I smirked, wiping the tears with my other hand.

"We'll see how it goes from here on," he said confidently.

That's another thing I had noticed. Marc wasn't afraid to be himself; be it awestruck, like the night I arrived, awkward when he approached my house, captivating like this morning at the cafe, or now, free while holding me and comforting me over petty things. He didn't understand how hard it is for someone like me to sit down and do nothing but watch the setting sun as it smiles onto others completely across the world, he didn't understand but his eyes showed that he was trying and that is what mattered.

I tightened my hand around his, knowing he could help me forget. Since I had met him one day ago, that is all he had done, he didn't know it though which made him more special than anyone else I had ever paid to listen to me.

Marc stood up suddenly, yanking me up with him. Oh no, now what, I thought to myself. The moon smiled down as I walked hand-in-hand with this boy I didn't even know; it felt like everything was spinning a mile a minute, I couldn't catch up fast enough.

That is probably why I didn't notice when Marc's hands traveled away from my hand and down to my waist, I didn't notice when his muscles flexed and I was lifted to the sky like Simba from the Lion King. I didn't notice any of this until my legs were flailing around trying to grapple towards the sand, until my hands reached below me to try to grab any article of Marc's clothing or even just grab on to him.

I didn't even know what was happening until I landed butt-first in the foamy dark sea water of one of the most beautiful beaches. Just like that, my mouth closed, no more little screams escaping.

Marc had planned this perfectly. The fall into the water wasn't high enough to hurt but I didn't land far enough that I was drowning while sitting.

My head spun immediately to find Marc, doubling over in laughter a few feet away. Okay, so that's how it was going to go.

My lips turned down into a mock frown, extending my arm up for help. Marc trotted over, a smile still dancing on his face. He was so expectant of me just to wrap my slender fingers around his tanned hand but I had the advantage. With a quick tug I pulled him down into the surf with me. Marc's brown eyes closed momentarily before laughing again, his arms rendered useless next to him, his legs splayed out bumping into mine with the soothing waves.

"That was dirty," he said looking into my eyes, his wet hands running through his curly wet hair. I smiled with victory, I had him and it felt better than good, it was great.

"I think it was pretty fair," I responded jokingly. And just like that our laughs blended into one and my mind opened.

I have no idea how to describe it. All I know is that the roar of the ocean dissipated, the lights of the stores and houses in front of us disappeared, the countless memories faded and I was just there. Marc was with me, his voice and words like sweet nectar to my ears, he talked to me like I was the only person alive that he could possible talk to.

We were there in one of the most scenic locations anyone could imagine and all I could think was how good it felt when his leg bumped mine. His hands running through his hair was like someone stroking a puppy, with the utmost gentleness and care.

My eyes scanned Marc as his lips moved with every new phrase and that's when I felt it. The great abyss. I had thought it was the ocean, but it was something much deeper.

The abyss was my heart pounding faster as his words probed my mind. It was my smile appearing more honestly than I had ever known in my life. Finally, it was realizing that Marc was my abyss. He was a hole so deep that falling was inevitable.