Yours Truly

25. Love-dazed

"It wasn't my intention to start all of this."

Rowan looked up from his phone at the sound of her low whisper. He found her standing there in the middle of the road, her eyes focused on a random spot next to him, completely zoned out.

They had breakfast together in her apartment accompanied by sunlight and a calm silence. Even though Sera normally skipped breakfast, she told him he may have had something to do with fixing her early morning appetite. They decided to walk to the nearby cafe Sera usually went to with her friends to get the cookies she was craving. She was all smiley and bubbly after eating, and Rowan had turned his head away from her for less than a minute to check his phone, only to find her this way.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"When I told them you're my boyfriend. I didn't mean for it to turn out this way, I just wanted Elena to go back and tell dad that I'm with an older guy. I just wanted to piss him off, I didn't know he was gonna challenge me like this." She explained, the wind ruffling her hair messily to cover her slight pout and sad eyes.

"Baby..." He seemed like he was about to go on as he considered her with his eyes, but she interrupted him.

"I'm sorry, Rowan."

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop apologizing, hm?" He made his way to her, putting one arm around her neck to guide her to walk back with him, his other hand still holding his phone.

"I already said I wouldn't have went along with it if it wasn't okay, but it is okay. It's just one dinner, nothing is gonna happen and we'll be alright." He made sure to look in her eyes as he said the last part, making sure she believed him.

"Now give me one of your pretty smiles." He suddenly let go of her so he could step away a little and positioned the phone up towards her.

Sera automatically started laughing as she saw what he was doing. She tried hiding her face in embarrassment but she could still hear the sound of the phone camera clicking, indicating he was taking multiple pictures in a row. She finally looked up at him, holding one cookie up near her cheek and giving him a big smile.

"Beautiful." He said, smiling fully from ear to ear in a semi rare sight. Sera almost did a double take while looking at his handsome face.

He's so, so beautiful.

I can't believe he thinks I'm beautiful.

Rowan focused back on his phone while he swiped through the pictures. Sera felt curious to see how they turned out, so she jogged to his side so they could look at them together.

"Oh, that one's cute." She stated once she glimpsed one she liked.

"Yeah?" He mumbled as he swiped back to the one she was talking about. It was the one where she held up the cookie close to her face, smiling shyly while looking up at the camera with her head tilted to the side. Sera realized immediately that she had a love-dazed look in her eyes; he had caught her in one of her most vulnerable expressions.

Still thinking about how love-dazed she looked, she missed how Rowan's thumb moved over the screen. She only noticed what he was doing when he was already positioning the picture the way he liked so he could set it up as his wallpaper.

"W-what are you doing?" Sera moved her eyes to his only to find him smiling warmly at his new wallpaper.

In slow movements, Rowan met her gaze, and she wondered if he could see through her. If he could hear her heart beating loudly, or feel how her soul slightly ached to be near him. If he could see the love-dazed look in her eyes, if he could even understand it. Her fingers yearned to touch him, but she was too afraid still.

"We have to give them something to believe, right?" He said, turning off his screen as he turned his attention back to his phone. Still holding the phone up for both of them to see, he tapped on it and Sera's smile lit up his screen instantly.

She laughed, about to say something, but it slipped her mind as Rowan's phone started ringing. Her picture was suddenly gone and its place was the name 'Clair' plastered on the screen. Sera immediately shut her mouth and turned her head away from him and his screen.

She heard him taking the call, saying a few words of 'yeah' and 'okay' to her, all while she was went to the nearby garbage can to throw away the cookie wrapper that was in her hand. When turned back around towards him, Rowan was already looking at her, his phone on his ear.

"Yeah, that's cool." He mumbled, Sera busied herself with her shoes, inspecting them until he finished.

"What time should we head out tomorrow?" He managed to change the subject quite quickly after hanging up, which only made Sera question him even more.

"Probably five, road takes two hours." She answered, inspecting his reaction.

"Are we staying the night?"

"No, I can barely put up with them for two hours max." Her replies were immediate, hurried though still soft. Rowan noticed she now considered him with the same sharp gaze from before.

"Okay." He nodded.

"Okay." She matched the nod.

"Should we head back? I'll drop you off then I have to go to work." He explained.

"Sure."

They both walked side by side in some kind of silence. It wasn't the heavy awkward silence most people would have the urge to break, but it wasn't the comforting kind they had the bliss of enjoying earlier in the morning either. Rowan searched his head for things to say but came up empty. He looked at her, only to find her focus on the other side of the sidewalk, her head away from him.

"Is something wrong?" He found himself asking.

She turned to look at him, her blonde curls hitting his chest lightly as the wind caught a whiff of her shampoo. She smiled then, a smile so close to the one in the picture but somehow something about it was off.

"It's not worth mentioning, I'll get over it." She reassured him.

"I don't believe you."

Sera didn't answer him this time, but the smile was still present on her face.