Mr. Maddox (PlusSize/BWWM)

5 ~

I couldn't sleep knowing that I'd possibly met my friends murder. I was left conflicted. I'd knew I couldn't outrun my past, but I didn't expect it to come and hunt me this soon.

I layed awake staring at the ceiling wondering what I have done to deserve this... Was I somehow responsible for the death of my best friend? But that's not what scared me. It was the thought of her still being here, how would she react?

I just knew I could have done more, maybe if I had went to the police it wouldn't have turned out this way. The first 48 hours are important, that could saved her life. Whether she was alive or dead every morning on my way to school I was reminded of her as I drove past the grave yard by my school.

I kept replaying different scenarios in my mind, one that would help me to figure out what this man wanted. Hell what either of these men wanted from me. I knew my life would forever revolve around this one act of defiance, I should of never signed up for that website.

Damn you Chelsea, you got what you wanted, I was tainted. I was too good for herself and others, too kind as she put it. I needed to prove to others I didn't have my head in the clouds as if I was superior to others.

As much as I regret it now, I loved the feeling of excitement I had bundled up in my stomach.

It was Friday night that we had decided I was going to sleep over at her house.

Since we left straight from the school she'd decided it would be best just to borrow some of her dads old clothes for me to wear, since I was probably to big for her own.

She had a very petite frame which I yearned for, while I had a busty chest, and wide thighs as she like to put it.

Her house was beautiful, almost like a palace compared to my own. I almost felt out of place, disbelieved that she would befriend someone like me.

But that night changed everything for me. That night she had told tell me her secret.

She opened her laptop, typing into the search bar a website called , sugardaddy4babygirl.com

This was a foreign thing to me, as I have never heard of anything like it. After all I was only a Sophomore.

She began to giggle like she was in on a secret joke of her own, while I was lost for words. Was this even legal? I'd heard the rumors but I didn't believe she'd actually been with grown men on sites like these.

"Chelsea"

"Hmm"

"Are you sure we should be doing this?"

"Whose to say we can't"

No one, I silently thought to myself in anticipation. Too bad I didn't voice my opinion that night, cause no one saved us when we got in too deep. No one heard our cries for help. We were two girls just begging for attention, and that night we had got it.

The next morning came faster than I'd imagined, by the time I fell asleep it was time to wake up.

I groggily got of bed and went to the bathroom, almost blinding myself turning on the lights. I turned the water onto steaming hot, stripping out of my clothes as I tossed each item into the hamper.

I decided to take a little extra time to get ready, there were some things I needed to do. I hadn't shaved in the longest, which had made me very self conscious. I was surprised I wore an skirt earlier that week knowing they on full display looking like that, not to get started on my lady parts let alone my armpits.

After a while in the shower I knew it was time to get out as the alarm I set went off. I didn't even know I got up before my alarm, even though I barely slept last night.

Flashbacks of Chelsea had flooded my mind, I miss those days when things weren't as serious. Where we could be ourselves without consequence.

I sighed as I put on my undergarments and my school uniform. Alike to yesterday I put on a tank top, my tight khaki skirt and my school windbreaker. I didn't waste time putting on my school shirt because they wouldn't even see it.

I was surprised my mom hadn't knocked on my door like she usually did, but she was a wonder to me sometimes. My dad on the other hand was barely home, probably sleeping around with our neighbors wives. I was convinced that's what contributed to my moms hate for me, but I would never know for sure.
If it wasn't that, than it would be something else. There was no point of me dwelling on the fact and further opening the wounds.

I was shocked as ever to see what looked like my mother, but completely vulnerable laying on the floor crying.

I internally cringed at the sight, I had never seen her this way. I didn't say anything, instead I just tried to comfort her the only way way I knew how. I pulled her up from the floor into a hug. I held onto her as she kicked and screamed, as I numbed myself from the throbbing of my cheek. I continued holding my mother as she let out the rage within herself, like she was on a battlefield.

She spit out horrible words at me, that didn't hurt now but would cut deeper than blades while alone.

"You're worthless"

"I hate you"

"I'd be happier if you were dead"

The last part hurt but I had to suppress my emotions, I couldn't allow myself to get sucked into her hatred. I knew she was saying this to make me as miserable as her but I never let the words affect me. I laughed bitterly, feeling the numbness in my body reflect my mood.

After a while she stopped crying, she just laid down on the kitchen floor silently. She pointed torwards the keys on the counter, as telling me to drive myself to school. I took a familiar route and parked on the street to avoid my car getting towed without a student parking pass.

A year had passed since Chelsea's disappearance and yet no one took notice. It was easy to be forgotten, with new trends coming and going the #Chelseawasmurdered did as well. But she'd be happy, for a few weeks she'd been number one trending on twitter. Almost like they didn't forget her very existence as they previously spread rumors about her before her sudden disappearance.

I walked into school smiling, as if I wasn't putting up a facade. But I now understand Chelsea, it's easy to get sucked into that world again. As simple as typing it into the search bar of my phone, I smiled looking down at my phone, a little attention never hurt anyone.