All those years ago, those dreadful long years, during a certain detectives time in the rangers, he was accompanied by mouse and another teammate. The trio were inseparable until the time come when they needed to part their own ways, what happened...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Easy" Jay helps Ella down from the step of the truck, gaining a small groan of discomfort from Ella.
She sighs heavily, feeling so helpless and useless, watching as jay hauls her bags up to her apartment.
The stairs were a definite no-no, and the elevator seemed to take forever. Every step Ella took felt like hell, her insides screaming at her to sit down.
Every bruise on her body seemed to intensify with each little movement...
Her mouth opened to complain about the injuries, until jay turned around with a small smile on his face, the yellowing bruises making her think she has no right to complain... jay was in this too. Her mouth clamps shut and she forces a smile in return.
Her apartment smells fresh and cold, like normality, as if none of this every happened... as if the pair had a lovely Christmas, exactly how they planned.
"Let's get you... to bed" jay sets her bags down, walking over to pull her into a small hug.
Ella let's out a small sigh, holding back the tears. Her heart feels heavy and she hasn't even been home for five minutes.
Sitting down on the bed with the help from her now-boyfriend, she closes her eyes tightly as jay kneels on the floor.
"I was thinking we could order takeout for dinner" he unties Ella's shoe laces, seeing as though she can't even hunch over without crying in pain, removes her shoes.
"Does that sound..." his voice cuts out as the splash of a teardrop lands on the back of his hand.
His head shoots up to see a very teary eyed Ella looking back at him with a complete and utter destroyed look on her face.
He kneels up, taking her hands in his own, knowing that she needs this release of pent up emotion.
She hid it well in the hospital, around the unit, around her parents... but not in front of jay, he can read her like a book. Every word of it highlighted in bold. Every thought written in her eyes.
"What's wrong?" He frowns, worry etched across his furrowed brows.
"I never told you what happened when my contract extended... in Somalia" Her voice cracks and the tears roll down her cheeks.
"You can't help them" "I have to try!"
Ella shakes her head, the vivid memories flooding back like a tsunami of destruction.
"You never felt comfortable talking about it, and you don't have to" jay moves to sit next to her on the bed, wrapping an arm around her.
Ella slowly nods, "it was a two month tour, supplying fresh supplies to the villages, nothing difficult" she sniffles, her shaky hands resting in his.
Jay frowns, his fingers rubbing the skin on her arm, and his heart aches. Ella has never been one to let her guard down, not unless something pushes her over the edge.
"We were installing fresh water pumps, the kids were playing around us. It- it was great, until everything went south..." Ella used her sleeve to catch the droplet leaving her cheeks.
"We had incoming alerts of a nearby missile strike, and before we could even pack up and evacuate the village. It hit. The whole village went up in flames, everything was destroyed" Ella's voice is barely over a whisper.
"Retreat!" "Crawford!" "They're gone..."
She shakes her head, sniffling, "there were two girls, they had been playing hopscotch with some chalk one of them had been given for her birthday. She had just turned eight, they were so beautiful" her eyes remain glued to the floor
"I see their faces, all the time, they died instantly upon impact. Probably didn't even feel a thing. But they were so innocent, didn't deserve the lives they were born into. I couldn't help them, hell, I couldn't even move. The blast was so intense it shattered a piece of my hip. I was laying there, staring at them both, and I couldn't do anything to help them. I was useless..." she sobs, the image flashing in front of her eyes.
"Hey, shhhh. You were not useless, they saw how much you gave up for them, how much you wanted to help. They died knowing you were there to protect them" he pulls her into his chest, frowning deeply.
"That's the thing, jay... I failed to protect them!" Ella pulls away, staring at him with urgent distress.
"No, okay? You listen to me. You couldn't have predicted that missile strike, nobody could've. Why're you really telling me this? It's alright..." he soothes, rocking her slightly.
"I feel just as lost now as I did back then, but I'm so selfish for feeling that way. They lost their lives, and I'm still here... I have no right to feel like this" Ella clutches her chest, "it hurts" she shakes her head.
Jay rushes up, grabbing the empty cup from the nightstand and filling it up in the bathroom, "c'mon..." he kneels down again, urging her to drink.
"Look at me. Okay? El... look at me" jays voice is gentle and reassuring as he pulls her back to him.
"You have every right to feel this way. You're hurting and that's perfectly normal. You've been through the unimaginable, not only over the past three weeks, but throughout your whole life. Those kids died, yes, but that is not on you. You did everything you could've done to make sure they were safe, that's all you could do" he wipes her tears away, holding back his own.
"And as for this? You'll be back to work in no time. I promise, we will get through this together. No matter what it takes, you have me and mouse, always" he places a hand on the side of we cheek, his eyes gentle and glossy.
Ella pauses, staring at jay as her breathing slowly falls back to its normal rate, "are you hurting?" She tilts her head.
"Seeing you like this? Yeah... I'm hurting. But like I said, we'll get through this together" jay smiles weakly.
Ella looks away as she wipes her tears from her face, extremely exhausted, "can we go to bed?" She frowns heavily.
"Anything you want" jay smiles deeply, jumping up to close the blinds before laying down next to her.
His mind runs wild, pained and confused, maybe even a little angry. But not at Ella, no, never at Ella.
The pair drift off into a restless sleep, waiting for the inevitable to happen, although it never comes.
