book 1- mortal she, immortal he.

6. snow day pt.1

AN: these few chapters are gnna be quite sad. TW. i'll try my best not to describe anything too much

kennys pov.

The truth is, I do like (Y/n). I feel something special with her, it's a strange connection I have never felt with any woman before. I would rather die than lose her, because I knew there was something special between us, and she didn't know it. And when I woke up the next day and saw that she was gone, I felt hurt. Well, more guilty than hurt. I did just fuck her without telling her my true feelings. I looked at my phone; 8:07 AM. I saw that the group chat called the "KKK" was blowing up, apperientally we have a day off of school because of an extreme snow storm. I put my phone back down and tried to go back to sleep. But the images of (Y/n)'s bruised and cut-up body wouldn't leave my mind. What happened to the poor girl?

(y/n)'s pov-13 hours later.

I stare up at the ceiling as I lie on my bed, tears streaming down my face. Kyle was spending the night at Stan's since were believe there won't be school tomorrow either. Sheila and Gerald are out for the night also, I'm alone. All alone with the thought of relapsing. I fucking hate this gut-wrenching feeling. I can't start again, I just started being better. Back at home, I would take out all of my anger and sadness that way. It's not like I had the guts to fight back. I roll up my sleeves and see all the healed scars. I ran my fingers over them, my hands were slightly shaking. All the thoughts I had when everything was so bad were coming back. I look at my phone beside me. Maybe I should call someone. Maybe I should get Kyle to come back and tell him what's going on. No. I can't do that. They'll think I'm weak. Like my parents. Tears stained my face; I didn't try to wipe them away. Just let it all out, (Y/n). I clench my hands and curl up into a ball. I cried into my knees and held my head with my hands. Stop, I can't relapse. I have such a nicer life now. There's no way for them to hurt me. I'm safe.

After all the reassurance I told myself, the feelings still didn't go away. 

And then more and more thoughts came to mind. Kenny saw my messed up body, he probably thinks I'm disgusting. Kyle saw me cry, he thought of me as weak. I am weak, and I will never change. I cry harder and harder, breaking down and falling into a dark void of depression. Do it. Let it all out. Let it all out. The voices in my head repeat over and over again, not seeming to leave me alone. I got up from my seat and searched through Kyle's drawers for something sharp. Anything sharp. I then find a switchblade. I grab it, and let it snap open. 

Now I lie back down on my bed. Staring at the ceiling like before. I relapsed. I fucking did it. I felt emotionless. My arms were burning and my sheets got stained with blood. I had all day to replace them, so I was in no hurry. Then, I hear a knock on the window of my room. I jumped. I look up and see Kenny staring through. I quickly pulled my sleeves back over my arms, got up, and pulled my covers over the now-stained sheets. I opened the window, letting him inside. A cold breeze hit my face. I looked down and noticed a ladder. Where the fuck did he get that. I closed the window and turned. Kenny was taking off his parka. He seemed to be getting comfortable with me, I've heard Eric saying that he never takes it off.

"What's up?" I ask.

"Your eyes are red, have you been crying?"

"No." He fell silent.

"Okay...I just came here to say sorry about last night." He sat down on my bed and I felt my heart race. I'm praying he doesn't notice. "I never meant to make you feel bad, I saw your face guilt and..." Kenny paused, and looked at his hand that was leaning against my blanket. It fucking soaked through. His hands were painted a deep shade of red.

"Get out," I demanded suddenly, he looked at me with concern. He stood up and ripped the blanket from my bed. His eyes widened as he noticed two puddles of blood that came from my arms. "Now."

"What the fuck happened?" He turned back to me. I didn't say anything, I looked away from him. I don't know what to say. No one has ever found out other than my parents, and they never gave me a good time about it. "(Y/n), tell me what happened right now." He faced my bed again and started to examine it, he then reached for my pillow.

"Wait!" I yelled, but it was too late. He threw the pillow off my bed and there was the switchblade, covered with blood. 

"God damn it, (Y/n)." He grabbed the knife and put it in his pocket. "Show me."

"Show you what?"

"You know exactly what I fucking mean! Show me!"

I pulled my sleeves down, tears forming in my eyes again. I was no longer emotionless, but not in a good way. Kenny looked at my arms, it was obvious he felt guilt. 

"You're gonna bleed out." That was a possibility. 

"I'll be fin-"

"You'll be fine?!" He snapped at me. "(Y/n), look at you're fucking...." He paused, noticing that he was raising his voice at me. "Let's get you to a hospital."

"No."

"Yes, come on." He grabbed my wrist and I winced. He let go immediately. "Fuck I'm...I'm sorry."

"I'm not going, Kyle will have gauze somewhere here let's just use that. Okay?" 

He looked at me with sympathy, then simply nodded. "Fine." We searched the bathroom cabinets and drawers until we found what we were looking for, along with a first aid kit. We sat down on the bathroom floor as Kenny tended my wounds. 

"Why, (Y/n)?" His voice was now softer than before. 

"I don't know."

He finished wrapping the gauze around my arms. His parka was around me since the blood had bled through my hoodie. 

"Please don't do this again. Please."

"Why would you care?"

Kenny sighed then pulled me close, I heard his heartbeat. It was speeding. 

"You're important to me, (Y/n). I can tell we're more than alike." Now I felt guilty. And I ended up in tears once again.