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Chapter 64

Valeriana's pov

Devyn and Kian follow behind me as I walk into the playhouse. I have been putting it off but today is finally the day. I was going to get back at Damien and Kolton. To start I was going to use Eliza. Yes, I was still stalling by going after her. But emotionally I will be hurting Damien and Kolton. They love their daughter.

The thought of physically hurting Damien or Kolton has me nauseous. They wronged me. Played me my whole life but I still have a small sliver of love for them. Because at the end of the day whether they stopped my mother or not they were there. They took care of me. Even if they didn't turn my mother in or killed her. They cared for me even if they were forced to. Nobody had done that for me before I found my brothers.

It might not seem like I hate them but I do. Even with that small piece of me that loves them. I still fucking hate them for getting me to love them while doing this to me. Knowing what it would do to me if I found out. I want to hurt them. So fucking bad like they did me but I have to work up to it. I have to push the rest of that love away so I can hurt them. But it's taking longer to do. No matter how hard I try. But my mind keeps going back to the fact that they were my dads whether they were pushed to do it or not.

They slipped up and actually started to care for me. And that is why I can't seem to hurt them. Because they did care. They do care. Even when my mother and her sick boyfriend had me. They pushed me to keep fighting when they saw how much I struggled. They tried to get me to think clearly so I didn't do or say anything to get in and cause more trouble.

I hate that I can't do anything to them. I'm supposed to be Echo. A fucking assassin. A damn good one. I would never freeze up on anyone. My hands clench at my sides. I'm not going to start now. My jaw clenched as I took a deep breath.

"Get Damien situated!" I ordered. Change in plans. Just go for it. Don't think just do. I can do this. I will do this! They do not get to get away with fucking with me this easily. I've put this off for far too long.

Archie and Grace go over and get Damien. He didn't even try to put up a fight. Once he was situated and changed up I walked over to the weapons. My eyes scan over each weapon. Waiting for one to call out to me like they usually do. Yet none of them do.

"Devyn, pick a number," I state. Devyn chuckles before walking over to me. She glanced at me before looking at me worriedly.

"10," she states. I nod my head before looking at Kian. He walks over and points to the knife. I picked it up. I flip the knife in my hands while walking back towards Damien. He stared at me in the eyes.

"I don't hold anything against you for this. We deserve it," Damien says. He was trying to make me know that it was ok to do this. I don't need his fucking approval! I stab the knife into this thigh.

"I don't recall asking you to fucking speak to me," I grit out. Damien grunted in pain as his face twisted. My chest tightened. My throat threatened to close. My eyes stung as tears warned me of their appearance. I can't do this! My eyes went to Devyn and Kian. behind them was my mother. Sitting in her cell. She had a smirk on her face as she watched me. My tears dissipated immediately.

Oh god. I'm no different from her! What have I become? Black dots appear in my line of vision. My body began to sway.

"V!" Kolton and Damien shout.

"Valer!" Devyn and Kian shout as my vision faded and my body hit the floor.

~~~

My body jumped awake. I push myself off my bed. I look around my room. How did I get home? Did Devyn or Kian bring me?

Did I seriously pass out because I couldn't torture Damien? Or maybe the realization that I turned out like my mother. Hurting someone I love or in her case used to love.

There was a light knock on the door. But I paid no attention to it as I paced back and forth. My stomach was still queasy at the thought I was like my mother.

As I paced I was muttering things. The words I said didn't make any sense as I tried to collect my thoughts. I probably looked crazy. Like I finally broke. Maybe I did. Mother has finally broken me. And she was successful with Damien and Kolton. She finally won.

Do you know how many people I have hurt? That I have tortured like my mother did to me. Just to prove to myself that she couldn't hurt me anymore. That I had the upper hand. Yet she got the last laugh. I've become this monster I see her as. Just like her. Playing with someone's mental and physical state because I could. They were weaker than me. So I could do as I fucking pleased. I was paid to hurt people and I sure as fuckign did. All because money was on the table. Money I needed. But money is not worth what I have done.

Taking a life. Lives! Putting them through endless amounts of pain for hours. Days even. Months! I've endure a life time of fucking torture to not wish that upon anyone. Just to go and fucking do it myself.

How could I do this? How can I fix this? I can't. Nothing I do now or in the future can ever change what I did. How many lives I have taken. I'm worthless. Undeserving of anything after the countless lives I've ended.

"Valeriana!" a voice shouted. Hands were placed on my shoulders causing me to stop pacing. My eyes stare at the person's shoes. "I've been trying to get your attention for thirty minutes now," Aurelio says. Was he? Of course not I would have heard him. Haha obviously.

"Sedate her," Papà says. My head snapped up. My hands shot up and in between Aurelio's hands that were still on my shoulders. My arms move out as I shove his hands off me. I slammed him into the wall. My knife pressed against his throat. Shouts surrounded me. Everything was so loud. My heart was rapidly beating in my chest.

My neck stings and slowly my eyes start to droop. The last thing I see is the blood dripping down Aurelio's neck.