(ON HOLD) jade decides to die → victorious

17

The fluorescent lights hummed softly in the corner where Jade had staked out her spot. Books and papers surrounded her, forming a fortress of solitude. She was intensely focused on her schoolwork, a mask of concentration firmly in place.

Meanwhile, at the other end of the room, Tori, Cat, Andre, and Robbie sat in a huddle, whispering conspiratorially. They glanced in Jade's direction, exchanging uncertain looks before Tori finally spoke up.

Tori nudged Cat gently, whispering, "Hey, maybe we should ask Jade to have lunch with us today?"

Cat's eyes widened in surprise. "Jade? Really?" She twisted her hands nervously, glancing back at Jade, who seemed deeply engrossed in her studies. "Um, I guess we could try..."

Andre leaned in, adding, "She's always on her own. Maybe she wants some company for a change?"

Robbie nodded, looking a bit unsure. "But she's... you know, Jade."

Tori's lips formed a determined line. "Yeah, but maybe she's just waiting for us to ask. C'mon, let's give it a shot."

They approached Jade cautiously, exchanging glances and a few whispered words of encouragement.

"Hey, Jade!" Tori called out, trying to keep her voice casual.

Jade glanced up from her books, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. "What's up?"

Tori hesitated for a moment, then pushed forward. "We were wondering if you wanted to join us for lunch today. You know, hang out together?"

There was a flicker of surprise in Jade's eyes, quickly masked by a guarded expression. She shifted in her seat, a hint of uncertainty in her posture. "Um, sure. Yeah, I guess so."

Cat beamed, attempting to hide her nervousness. "Yay! It'll be fun!"

Andre chimed in, offering a friendly smile. "Awesome! We'll save you a seat."

Jade nodded slightly, her response clipped. "Okay, thanks."

As the gang retreated to give Jade space, they exchanged excited glances, feeling a mixture of nervousness and anticipation. Jade returned to her work, a subtle hint of curiosity lingering in her features. The gang was eager, but they knew breaking through Jade's barriers wouldn't be easy.

Jade packed up her books, her thoughts swirling as she mulled over the unexpected lunch invitation. Her hand trembled slightly, betraying the unease she felt. What did I just agree to? Was that the right decision? A surge of apprehension coursed through her, threatening to overwhelm the veneer of composure she often wore.

She clenched her jaw, reminding herself of her goals. The plan she had meticulously crafted needed her to get closer to Beck and Andre, and this was an opportunity she couldn't afford to pass up. Her eyes darted towards the gang, who were exchanging excited whispers amongst themselves.

"They want to be friends, but do I need friends?" she mused internally. The vulnerability of being close to anyone made her feel exposed. It was safer to remain distant, isolated, and in control. But then, a conflicting thought surfaced—maybe a little closeness wouldn't hurt.

Jade's fingers tightened around her notebook, a subtle sign of her growing agitation. She tried to shake off the flutter of anticipation mixed with anxiety that threatened to unravel her well-laid plan. Her inner voice, a resolute echo in her mind, reminded her, Stick to the plan, Jade. You have no other choice.

Amidst the bustling school corridors, a fleeting memory surfaced, as vivid and painful as the day it happened. The flashback materialized like an unwelcome guest, invasive and distressing. Jade's gaze wandered away from the chattering students, lost in a haunting reverie.

Flash.

A distant echo reverberated in her mind, a bitter reminder of her past. Harsh words pierced her heart like jagged blades, cutting through her confidence and self-worth. "You're a failure, Jade! You disgust me."

Flash.

The sting of rejection lingered, accompanied by the hollow ring of a shattered promise. The searing disappointment in her mother's eyes had etched itself into her memory, a constant reminder of her perceived inadequacy.

Flash.

Scenes of silent tears in solitude flooded her thoughts. The emotional scars ran deep, a tapestry of anguish woven through her existence. The cruel echoes of past words echoed louder than the present chatter around her.

Jade's fists clenched reflexively, nails digging into her palm, anchoring her to the present. A tremor of pain flashed across her face, a subtle shift in her countenance, barely perceptible to onlookers.

She shook her head, as if to physically cast away the haunting memories. No, focus on the plan, she reminded herself sternly, her resolve reinforced by the shards of painful memories, a silent motivator driving her towards her goals.

*

Seated at the picnic table outside Hollywood Arts, the gang enjoyed their lunch from Festus' food truck, exchanging stories and laughter. Jade found herself among them, a hesitant participant in their midst.

Beck and Andre cast furtive glances in Jade's direction, their curiosity piqued. They observed her from a distance, intrigued by her reserved demeanor amidst their lively banter.

"So, Jade, what do you think of the chicken tacos?" Cat chirped, attempting to include her in the conversation.

Jade hesitated before replying softly, "They're... good."

As conversations around her bubbled with warmth, Jade wrestled with conflicting emotions. Her desire to connect with the gang warred against the barriers she'd erected, shielded by her plan and past hurt.

Her eyes often drifted toward Beck and Andre, a mix of longing and apprehension. In one fleeting moment, her gaze met Beck's. A sudden warmth crept up her cheeks, her heart fluttering, but she quickly averted her eyes, feigning disinterest.

As lunch drew to a close, the gang expressed their gratitude for Jade's company, inviting her to join them more often. Jade smiled faintly, a hint of uncertainty in her eyes. The conflicting emotions she harbored—yearning for connection and the fear of vulnerability—left her in a state of disquiet.