the foiled plan (WAR OF SINS BOOK 2)

Chapter 12

Noelle's POV

The single bed is a tight fit. Our bodies are pressed together as he spoons me from behind, his erection digging into my backside. His arm tightens around me, his head in the crook of my neck, and I can't help the sigh of contentment that escapes my lips.

"You feel right at home in my arms," he murmurs as he nibbles at my ear.

"I feel at home," I whisper shyly as I let myself melt into him.

"Can you forgive me?" he asks as he lays a kiss on my shoulder.

"Forgive you for what?" I frown.

"For being an idiot and not realizing you were bothered by Sisi," he starts, his mouth on my skin, his breath brushing against me and making me shiver. "But most of all for everything I put you through before."

"Do you mean it?"

He pauses.

"Of course I do. Noelle," he sighs. "I behaved like an ass, I know that. I put you through hell because of my fucking self-righteousness and I can't tell you how much I regret that."

I reach to touch his hand, giving it a quick squeeze.

"Do better in the future," I tell him. "I can't tell you I forgive everything because some things aren't that easy to forget..." I trail off, taking a deep breath. "What you did to me in that dark room... You have no idea how close you were to breaking me, Raf. Really breaking me."

"Noelle," his anguished voice caresses my ears, and I just close my eyes, letting myself be surrounded by it. "I don't know how I can make it up for that. But I can promise you to try. Make you feel secure with me and trust me until you can forgive me for it."

"Spell it out for me. What exactly are you proposing?" I ask resolutely, wanting to hear in no uncertain terms what he wants.

"A real marriage." His mouth continues to trail light kisses over my skin. "I want us to have a real marriage."

I swallow.

"Even though I may never be able to have children?"

"Regardless," he answers immediately.

"Surely you'll want them in the future and you know I may not be able to give that to you..."

"Don't. Don't tell me what I want, Noelle. Because, quite frankly, there's only one thing that I want and that is you. There's something between us...," he pauses, taking a deep breath. "Something incredibly special, and I'm not giving up on you," he states with quiet conviction.

"Raf..."

"Give me a chance," he pleads. "Please."

Turning, I bring my eyes to his, the sincerity in his gaze confirming he is serious.

"There is something between us. Something I can't explain," I admit. "That kiss... I didn't know I wasn't whole until you kissed me and put me back together."

"I felt it too," he whispers, cupping my cheek. "From the beginning I've felt something for you. I disguised it with hate because I didn't want to admit to myself that you made me feel things I'd never felt before," he confesses, and more questions arise in my mind.

"Not even with Lucero?" I tentatively ask, immediately beating myself for going there.

I don't want to ruin this moment, but as I watch his expression tighten, I fear I may already have.

He doesn't answer for a moment. But then he shakes his head.

My mouth parts in shock.

"What I had with Lucero was completely different," he smiles ruefully. "But that's in the past. You're my future," he swipes his thumb on my cheek in a gentle gesture, his eyes conveying everything I needed to know.