Friendly Dating 2 - Ethan

Chapter 34 - Making Up

Hanging out with Burlap last night helped to calm me down a lot, and I finally accepted that I might've misunderstood what Kicks was trying to say to me.

It got pretty late, and I eventually had to go home; I was relieved that the house was quiet when I got there. My parents went to bed ages ago; they don't wait up for me when I'm at the Croft's... and that is where they thought I was. Sneaking up the stairs to my bedroom, I wasn't surprised to find Deli in my bed.

She was sleeping chaotically all over my bed and when my sister sleeps, a stampede of rabid donkeys couldn't wake her. For a while, I just stood there, staring out my window, looking at Kira's window, and then I shut the curtains, afraid that I might go over there and make things worse than they already were.

After creeping around my room, gathering everything I needed for school and rugby, I went to Deli's room and slept in her bed. I was glad that she was asleep because I did not feel up to a warm brother-sister conversation. I don't know if Kira told her what happened, but if she did, my sister would have a lot to say about it and my head was already filled with too many things.

Lying in her bed, staring at my phone's screen, I came very close to calling Kira, but fear stopped me. Things escalated so fast earlier, and I was still not entirely sure what I was supposed to say or think. The one thing that stood out clearly and brightly in my heart and mind was that I wouldn't be able to take it if things between us ended.

This experiment has unblocked everything I've been keeping bottled up, and I don't think I can turn back now. I'm rattled to the core. For a moment, it started to feel as if our relationship wasn't made of rice paper and cobwebs after all. I started to think that it had more substance and was more solid. Now, I'm not so sure anymore.

It might be true that Kira is not trying to push me to Amber, but that doesn't mean she wants to be with me. If she did, she would've said so by now, wouldn't she?

My mom always says it's best to have arguments and discussions during the day when your brain is fresh, and you're less likely to say stupid things due to exhaustion. Grandma Fay always says never to let the sun set on an argument, but what if the sun had already set before you started arguing?

My head was about to explode, so I gave up on the idea of calling or texting Kira, and after rolling around for hours, I finally fell asleep long enough to be really tired when my alarm clock went off.

Today was the second day I sucked at rugby practice due to a lack of sleep, but I wasn't walking on clouds, feeling playful and happy this time. Fortunately, we all sucked because playing rugby in the rain is a muddy, slippery mess, and Coach finally called it off because of the danger of mucking up the rugby field.

It was a relief to just shower, get dressed and come sit in the empty classroom. I'm not in the mood to chat and mess around with any of my friends. They were curious at first, probably even a bit worried, but they eventually got that I just wanted to be left alone. Burlap is not trying to talk sense into my head anymore. He knows my brain is saturated.

He just sits here at my desk, reading on his phone and giving me compassionate smiles whenever he glances up and catches my eye. Burlap is good at giving me space. He's been trying to teach me the same skills, but it's not really taking. I try, but I suck at it. I struggle to sit still and shut up when I'm not feeling mopy. It helps if I pop in earphones and watch a movie on my phone. Today, I'm good at just sitting and shutting up without any help. It's probably pretty impressive.

Sometimes, just being together in the same place, each doing their own thing, is all we need when either of us is having a tough time.

When the students start to arrive, streaming into the classroom, Burlap squeezes my shoulder and moves to his own desk. I steadfastly ignore Delia's questioning looks and frowns when she enters the room and stops by my desk. Getting the hint, she messes up my wet hair and goes to her seat. I'm glad she knows when to push and when to let me be.